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May 11, 2009 17:27:45 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on May 11, 2009 17:27:45 GMT -5
^HAHAHA Wow that's really funny.
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May 12, 2009 23:09:34 GMT -5
Post by Greenepony on May 12, 2009 23:09:34 GMT -5
From tonight
"Lindsay! I told you two, no making out!" "We're not, he just needed to tell me something and I couldn't hear!" "Do you always hear with your lips together?"
"There is no shimmy in the shim sham!"
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May 13, 2009 15:51:36 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on May 13, 2009 15:51:36 GMT -5
My friend brought this coloring book to school with tons of really stupid jokes in them. We were reading them in English and laughing really hard, even though they were dumb. Here are a few:
Q. What do elephants have that no other animal has? A. Baby elephants
Q. Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich? A. The poor didnt have any money
Q. What's green and red and goes 120 mph? A. A frog in a blender
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? A. Time to get a new fence
Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?
Q. What's big, red, and eats rocks? A. A big, red, rock eater
Q. What do you call the winner of a monster beauty contest. A. Ugly
Q. What's red and goes up and down? A. A tomato in an elevator
Q. What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windsheild? A. His butt
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May 13, 2009 18:22:03 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on May 13, 2009 18:22:03 GMT -5
Haha... baby elephants. NICE.
The infamous Mr. W. quotes!!!
[He wears hawaiian shirts a lot] Mr.W: It's coming out of my pants!! [after which his face turns red from laughing hysterically and class can't resume for five minutes]
Okay, so, at seven it's like little elves running through, right? [Satiric Dances] Right... well, right now you guys sound like fat elves. Whoomp, whoomp, whoomp!!
BassClarinet: Are you molestation me?
GaySax: *walks into Wind Ensemble because he has a free period. Goes to his locker and takes out 2L Pepsi* BD: [GaySax].... What are you doing? Random Clarinet: CHUG!!!! Class: *chants* CHUG CHUG CHUG!!
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May 15, 2009 18:43:20 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on May 15, 2009 18:43:20 GMT -5
Student Teacher: We can't end it like that! I won't be able to sleep at night. Me: *whispers before downbeat* That's what she said! Class: *fails from laughing*
We hear someone trying to play Lean On Me, but starting on a Bb instead of a C. S.T.: *cues us into song* Me: *at same time* WRONG KEY!!!
BD(during announcements in Band) Trombones, shut up! Continue, Kathleen. *later* [Senior Sax who never comes to class], since you want to talk so much, tell us a story! Senior Sax: *sigh* So... there once... was a man. He... had a child. Instead of raising it, he... sold it. For a cow. It was a profitable exchange. *bows*
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May 17, 2009 17:17:55 GMT -5
Post by piccolo + ADD = fun on May 17, 2009 17:17:55 GMT -5
-in the band library (yes, we have a library in an old practice room)- Baritone: Tch, you know you would totally but property here -rubs his body- Tuba: No thank you. I am not interested in estate with a dilapidated house with brown grass dying around it. Good day. -starts walking out- Baritone: what the? O.o Tuba: I SAID GOOD DAY! -walks out and slams door- Baritone: o.O;;; rest of us in library: =D
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May 18, 2009 18:38:21 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on May 18, 2009 18:38:21 GMT -5
Background: a holiday angel sits on top of the band lockers from when we did white elephant gift exchange, and it was the center piece for our 'holiday bush'. Perc2: *grabs doll to move it* BD: [Perc2]! Stop putting your hand up her dress!
BD: The freshman had a fun plaything today... you guys(Wind Ensemble) should have seen it.
Trumpet3: [Trumpet1](who is also her boyfriend), do you know Spanish? Trumpet1: [Trumpet3], I can't even speak ENGLISH, what makes you think I'd know Spanish! *later* Trumpet1: Si se puede.... Comer... en mi pantalones.
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May 22, 2009 17:08:43 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on May 22, 2009 17:08:43 GMT -5
At graduation practice.
Asst. Principal: Ok, so when the choir sings the Alma Mater, everyone will stand up. [Calculus teacher] will give everyone the cue to stand.
(The teacher's spot was in the row in the M's, roughly. Everyone at the beginning of the alphabet turned and stared at him)
Me: (to person next to me) We should just sit turned around like this the whole ceremony, just in case he suddenly decides to make us stand up.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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May 25, 2009 18:32:17 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2009 18:32:17 GMT -5
going to a parade for Civil Air Patrol...
Color Sergeant: I'm going to text my friends Me: You have friends? Actually, what is your number? (everyone decides to swap numbers) Color Sergeant: Hey, (commander), since we're all swapping numbers, can I have yours? Commander: Uh....
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May 26, 2009 0:13:11 GMT -5
Post by keyslinger on May 26, 2009 0:13:11 GMT -5
Bio teacher: I am NOT racist. I just hate you all equally
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May 26, 2009 2:00:46 GMT -5
Post by Brassman on May 26, 2009 2:00:46 GMT -5
Bio teacher: I am NOT racist. I just hate you all equally Mine is better. Bio Teacher:"I am an equal opportunity Racist."
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$@M1K1N$!
Band Nerd
I'd rather be at band
Posts: 149
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May 30, 2009 15:23:38 GMT -5
Post by $@M1K1N$! on May 30, 2009 15:23:38 GMT -5
history teacher: what were the names of (our state's) 3 Olympic mascots? class: *crickets chirp* ht: come on! we learned this YESTERDAY! class: *more crickets* ht: it's ALL OVER this state! and no drew it is NOT white people, mormons and republicans! class: *laughs*
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May 31, 2009 20:12:47 GMT -5
Post by ~*Not~a~Stalker~* on May 31, 2009 20:12:47 GMT -5
Me: "This sunscreen smells like summer....and band camp." Dad: "Honey, I don't know what your band camp smells like now, but when I was in high school, all it smelled like was fear and desperation."
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Jun 12, 2009 18:07:09 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on Jun 12, 2009 18:07:09 GMT -5
AlkaSeltzerKid: It's technically called a maracca but I call it a 'shooka-shooka'. My mom told me that's what it's called.
GaySax: Oh f@. Fu... ji applies!
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Jun 12, 2009 21:12:44 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on Jun 12, 2009 21:12:44 GMT -5
At orientation today. They were telling us about the emergency text-messaging system they have. (Imagine all of this in a southern accent)
Woman: So the emergency text-messaging system is good way for us to tell you when there is bad weather, any gunshots, or anything else. Now, this is important for you to know. We will NOT send you a message saying "OMG TORNADO!"
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