mandadm
Band Nerd
[F4:1051801674]
Posts: 175
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Mar 31, 2009 18:05:32 GMT -5
Post by mandadm on Mar 31, 2009 18:05:32 GMT -5
In my anatomy class room, there was an open vent thing in the ceiling. One of the kids was messing around and wanted to go up in it while we were working on our Muscle structure quiz.
Kid: you wont tell right? Biology teacher who was subbing for my anatomy teacher: nooo... *couple minutes later* Kid: I wanna go in there. Sub: No. Kid: But it may be a gateway to Narnia. Sub: It might also be a gateway to death.
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Mar 31, 2009 21:14:34 GMT -5
Post by altoclarinets on Mar 31, 2009 21:14:34 GMT -5
how much time they spend thinking these up. Knowing my chem teacher, that was on the spot. When it's planned they're far lamer than that. I love that class.
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Mar 31, 2009 23:05:18 GMT -5
Post by yummiebears on Mar 31, 2009 23:05:18 GMT -5
Talking about the molarity of a "solution" of stuffed moles... Crazy Friend: Which end of the mole is in which liter? Crazy Chem Teacher: I don't know... I guess one end is mole heads and the other is, IDK, molasses... *I get it and nearly pee myself* Crazy friend: *gets it* Crazy class: *gets it* Crazy teacher: Yes, welcome to chemistry. Just checking to be sure you're awake. oh my gosh! my chem teacher totally did almost the exact same thing earlier this year. (most of the class missed the joke) except that he had a stuffed mole that you velcro apart. When he was talking about molarity he put the bottom half of the mole in the 1L beaker and put another mole on top, but the top half stuck out. He was like that would be a 1.5 molar solution-- actually, it'd be molasses. I got a picture! hopefully it worked. [img src=" img16.imageshack.us/img16/4489/molasses.th.png"][/img]
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Apr 1, 2009 22:26:15 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on Apr 1, 2009 22:26:15 GMT -5
We had a guest speaker at school today to talk to us about drunk driving and stuff. The guy had driven drunk, got in a wreck, and a person ended up dying from the wreck. He got out of prison in August and told us about it. The whole senior class was in the auditorium at the time.
Anyways, so he started out by saying, "So, I made a really bad life decision that night. You all know what I mean by the term 'Life Desicion', right? A decision that affects your life and others around you." and some guy in my class says, "Like World of Warcraft!!!" It was funny, but not appropriate for the topic the speaker was discussing.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Apr 4, 2009 0:53:15 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2009 0:53:15 GMT -5
Some friends and I went to Denny's. One of them was eighteen and so had bought a cigar because he could, but didn't want to smoke it, so I suggested he leave it as a tip for the waiter. We also had a garden gnome with us.
Waiter (bringing us pie with whipped cream): No snorting it!
Waiter: I'm going to leave this by your gnome thing...not going to ask
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Apr 4, 2009 15:46:31 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on Apr 4, 2009 15:46:31 GMT -5
Okay, it's been a while... so yeah. English Class: Mrs. T: You can't succeed if you don't try. LIke, all you guys are failures at being surgeons. Perc/Guitarist: I feel like my hand is riding a very high speed go-cart.
Mrs. T: (About Greek mythology) You could go swimming and come out pregnant. P/G: That happened to me once.
Girl1(Reading a slideshow): Hermes. StonerKid: Herpes? Mrs. T: Yeah, Herpes, god of open sores.
S/G: His peepee is showing. (a statue of Zeus)
Girl2: I made my mom buy me a box of chocolates just so I could find the coconut one and o 'Ew, it's coconut!'
S/G: I'm going to make a horror movie. I'll call it 'The Square'. (after drawing a fuzzy square on my notebook) It's showing up everywhere! You have seven years to live!
S/G: What is love? (after a discussion about love) Me: Baby, don't hurt me. S/G: Don't hurt me. Me: No more!
S/G(Looking at a map of Ancient Greece): The island of Lesbos!
Mrs. T(people in Ancient Greece): They live by the sea. StonerKid: Don't they know that's bad for their cars?!
Mrs. T: Can you guys shut up? I'm trying to tell you about my feet... - So let's talk about incest. (Oedipus Rex)
Mrs. T: Every country has war. StonerKid: Not Canada!
GaySax: I keep getting the feeling I'm vibrating when I'm really not.
GS:Driving in general doesn't seem like it'd be that hard. Girl2(his best friend): YOU don't seem like you'd be that hard!
Mrs. T: I think of you guys like the old muppets who keep a running commentary.
S/G: What's your grade? StonerKid: 35% S/G: That's not bad. Class: *laugh* S/G: What? It could be worse....
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Apr 5, 2009 22:08:30 GMT -5
Post by SaxGirl on Apr 5, 2009 22:08:30 GMT -5
My Ethics professor: Somehow cheating in an ethics class is far worse than cheating in any other... it's soul-crushing.
A friend of mine: Those extremely uncomfortable scenes between Hamlet and the Queen were quite hilarious, though one kid in my class was also taking Parenting, and his mechanical baby started giggling when Polonius got stabbed.
Another friend: Y'know what could be awesome? Putting a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room and letting them duke it out!
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Apr 5, 2009 22:54:24 GMT -5
Post by Greenepony on Apr 5, 2009 22:54:24 GMT -5
Christian Heritage Prof (right before an exam): Now remember, God is watching you. So you can't cheat. You're in Religion, so you should especially not cheat. God doesn't care if you cheat in other classes, just not religion. ... Ya'll know I'm kidding right? Please don't get me fired.
Teacher: Can anyone read this chapter? I promise there's nothing... yeah, there's nothing too bad in this part. (explanation: We were reading from Song of Solomon in church... it is an erotic Hebrew love poem about Solomon and one of his wives. If you get past the part that Solomon is comparing his wife to some pretty odd things it's cute... just awkward to read out loud)
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KUguardgrl13
Band Nerd
I'm a sister in the bond of this kinship I am fond[F4:687065693]
Posts: 442
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Apr 6, 2009 15:51:30 GMT -5
Post by KUguardgrl13 on Apr 6, 2009 15:51:30 GMT -5
Friend: I am a french fry!! (after a girl in our guard had tested some spray tan from victoria secret and someone said she looked like a potato)
Same Friend Later: I am disruptive!! (after complaining about a really annoying girl in our guard)
Same Friend Even Later: I am a disruptive french fry, and it's game time!!
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Apr 7, 2009 17:04:07 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on Apr 7, 2009 17:04:07 GMT -5
In my Psychology class we were learning about sleeping and dreams a couple months ago.
Teacher: Did you know that you will spend 1/3 of your life asleep? I found that on the Internet. For added fun, look up how much of your life you spend on the toilet.
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Apr 7, 2009 17:47:55 GMT -5
Post by stickshifty on Apr 7, 2009 17:47:55 GMT -5
^ lolololol.
French horn player: (commenting on the snow we got today when it was in the 70s this weekend) Global warming? It seems a bit more like a big global cluster[eff] to me.
Me: lol that's my new adjective to describe the economy now too.
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Apr 8, 2009 13:02:57 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on Apr 8, 2009 13:02:57 GMT -5
Background info: My Calculus teacher is really shy, so that made the whole situation even funnier
In Calculus:
Guy: Hey, [teacher], I saw that you have a facebook! Teacher: *Shifty eyes* I don't talk to students online... Guy: We should be friends on facebook! Teacher: No, really, I'm only friends with students who have graduated. Other guy: Sweet! As soon as I walk and get my diploma, I'm sending you a friend request!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Apr 8, 2009 19:04:17 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2009 19:04:17 GMT -5
My ex-DM walked down a hallway after track today wearing a Mardi Gras mask for some function she was doing. Some woman, possibly her mother, was behind her. Me: *starts snickering, ends up doubled over and stomping my foot* Her (fuming): You know how much I don't care what you think? You need to shut up, because you're going to get yourself in trouble. *storms off* Woman: I think she likes you. Me: I noticed.
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Apr 8, 2009 20:08:02 GMT -5
Post by Horn man on Apr 8, 2009 20:08:02 GMT -5
Quotes from Ed, our jazz band instructor:
"You are not allowed to play your part again and have it sound like that." "Why are you sucking?" "You are all freaking pansies!" "Its kind of illegal for me to fraternize with you guys outside of school." "Now play like you got a pair." "Am I speaking japanese up here?" "Ayaka, go back there and get me a chicken pot pie." "A blues is gonna make all the girls rip off their clothes." "Now play it forte, not metzo (degrading word)." "It sounds like a pet store burning down." "We're gonna play this with a new tempo: Ballzando." "No, I'm picking up your mom Jake." "We tend to climax early." "Well it definatly wasn't my fault. That's a good assessment of who's fault that was." "Tim moved, correct notes are gonna be the thing this year." "Alfred, shut up!"
"I mean back then if you could make a fifth you would be known all throughout the fiefdom. If they were gonna purge the land your life might be spared."
Conversation between Ed and drummer, lets call him O. on the way to a jazz comp.
Ed: O, did you pack the drums? O: I though you were gonna pack them. Ed: O...you see, we are all, well most of us are somewhat established musicians. That means when we are off to go play our sweet sweet music elsewhere, we each take care of our appropriate necessities. Alfred brought his trumpet, because he is a trumpet player. I brought all of the scores because I am a jazz instructor. Now you, oliver are a drummer. The drums are not here. Whose fault would that be? O: I think that would be your fault. Ed: Oh man O, dont get on my radar. Oops, there you are. *boop*...*boop* Looks like we gotta turn around, and you, O, are now the new jazz band (degrading word)
I tried to exclude quotes that were offensive. While our jazz band director is sexist, racist and a huge jerk, he is also amazing and gets the job done VERY well.
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Apr 10, 2009 12:16:50 GMT -5
Post by altoclarinets on Apr 10, 2009 12:16:50 GMT -5
My chem teacher: Ok, now you're going to put your materials for the titration into a flask. (picks up 2L flask) There'll be one kind of like this one over at your station... only smaller... I really don't have any use for a flask this big. But I don't like to waste stuff. So maybe I'll use it as a vase *puts a paper flower in it* Excess glassware is great for this stuff. You know, distillation unit, flower here, here, here, here and a big bouquet in the middle.
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