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Apr 13, 2009 21:11:35 GMT -5
Post by altoclarinets on Apr 13, 2009 21:11:35 GMT -5
Convo with orch director... I forget what led up to this... He takes off his shoes Me: Wow, Od, you're wearing argyle socks. Him: Oh, is that what argyle is? I never knew. I just needed some new socks and saw these at the store. Me: Oh, and so you were like, "ooh, argyle" and bought them? Him: No, I was like "ooh, more than one color" and bought them.
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Apr 16, 2009 21:15:13 GMT -5
Post by Lprdgecko on Apr 16, 2009 21:15:13 GMT -5
In Economics today somehow we got on the topic of drugs and it lasted the whole class period. My teacher intended it to be very discussion-oriented, but my class is notorious for not talking.
Teacher: (asks question) Class: (no answer) Teacher: Oh yeah, this is 6th period... You guys never talk... I know what it is, you all smoke pot every day Class: (bursts out laughing)
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Apr 17, 2009 21:52:56 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2009 21:52:56 GMT -5
State Knowledge Bowl...
*watching C-Span* Kid: This is like porn for me *Democrat comes on* Kid: Aah! This is like gay porn!
there are too many others to post.
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Apr 17, 2009 22:29:57 GMT -5
Post by spacermase on Apr 17, 2009 22:29:57 GMT -5
from my Molecular Ecology and Evolution lab:
Prof: Now, make sure you're wearing gloves when you're working with this solution, because not only is it neurotoxic, it splits your DNA. Which you need. To do stuff.
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Apr 18, 2009 14:40:34 GMT -5
Post by clarinerd913 on Apr 18, 2009 14:40:34 GMT -5
our english class just finished reading Lord of the Flies. we had been playing our own version of Survivor to go along with the book, so our student teacher asked us how they related. One girl was saying that our teacher was kinda the like the conch shell, because she kept us in line. but our teacher couldn't talk, because she has vocal cord issues, so she sounded all squeaky. so then a drummer says: "and now you're broken!"
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Apr 18, 2009 19:27:05 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2009 19:27:05 GMT -5
Overheard on the track bus Girl (who is taken): I love you Boy: I love you, too Girl: This is disgusting.
They are close friends who were having a heart-to-heart.
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Apr 22, 2009 22:32:32 GMT -5
Post by yummiebears on Apr 22, 2009 22:32:32 GMT -5
In my science class we were filling out surveys for our "auditions" into AP class. The teacher was going through it online and instead of AP Physics C (calculus based) calculus was mispelled and said calculua. My teacher was like, then there is physics c, which is calculus based; actually its calculua based *pause*. He's the calculus vampire.
It was really funny, but I guess you had to be there.
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Apr 28, 2009 23:52:21 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on Apr 28, 2009 23:52:21 GMT -5
Chemistry Quotes Me: His voice is really deep. ChemPartner: Sounds kind of denomic... Me: ... Demonic? CP: That's what I was going for.
After a weird sound, which we still don't know where it came from. Kid1: What is that? Kid2: Aliens...
English... MrsT: Can you think of a time when we haven't had war? StonerKid: Ever been to Canada? Honestly, I don't know what his fascination is...
And now for band quotes :] Me: [Bone4]'s the retarded sperm that kept hitting the wall. Bone3: 10,000 sperm and you were the fastest, [Bone4]? Bone4: Is that good?
Bari1: [Bad Flute] never plays anyway. Want some ice for that burn? When you put ice on a burn, it frickin' hurts! Me: Would you put ice on an ice burn, or.... fire....?
ST: I want to make an instrument that sounds like (weird noise) Perc2: It's called a bong. BD: *gives him a funny look*
BTone: It's the leprechauns killing the song with a shotgun! (when the piccolos came in for Fantasia on Dixie)
BD: Is everyone tired from the long weekend? Perc2: I was BORN tired.
OldBD: Alter your accidentals so they fit in. AltoClarinet: I'll alter YOUR accidental.
Bari2: I can't play with anything in my mouth.
Me[to Bari1, who's my best friend]: We came at the same part didn't we?
AC: I'll study your hall.
AC: I'm gonna get freaky with your clarinet!
ContraClarinet: If I had udders, I would milk myself.
BandMom: Do you need help with the barn dance? I mean band dance.
The following are from Mr. Wooters, the coolest sub ever: Make sure your tongue is fast. You get to say doo-doo a lot. Yes! Do it just like that! That's how I like it! Like a cat with milk. I started big then got small They'd do it for hours because it's a game. It takes flair to be square. It's a Godzilla forte! Okay, maybe a baby godzilla forte... Turn to the person next to you and say, "You are fabulous!" (everyone does it) Wow you guys are weird...
Me: Hey, you have a low A too! Bari1: ... That's a C.
BD: [FHorn] stares with his tongue a lot.
BD: Bands do "things" together.
BD: We just need to do it some more and do it faster.
Bari1: Why's she conducting it in two? Me: Because it's in 6/8...
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Apr 29, 2009 18:00:07 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2009 18:00:07 GMT -5
Written on a note attached to our new upright bass: NO! No band geeks, no choir kids, no theater students ABSOLUTELY NO CIVILIANS! Not now, not later, not after class, not before school, during or after Not even bass players...(list of people's initials with no written after each one, then) [percussionist's initials] Absolutely, under no circumstance, ever!
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Apr 30, 2009 18:20:07 GMT -5
Post by altoclarinets on Apr 30, 2009 18:20:07 GMT -5
Friend to me in class: "They said a black guy would get elected when pigs fly... 100 days after obama was elected... swine flu."
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Apr 30, 2009 19:48:01 GMT -5
Post by cpclarinet26 on Apr 30, 2009 19:48:01 GMT -5
I've got a bunch of band quotes... Head Director: It IS a good day, you're wearing a bonnet. Percussion Director: If I hit a tenor player on the head with a wrench and he went down playing... that's what it would have sounded like. Associate BD: *Bassoon*, you make me want to skin cats. Annoying First Chair Bassoon: You make me want to join marching band. Me: *facepalm* BFF: You got a baton? Me: I like to conduct. *Later* BFF: Why do you have a hoodie and sweatpants that say “Clarinet” on the back? Me: I like band! BFF: I am buying you a tattoo. It’ll be on your forehead, and it’ll say “Band Nerd!” Me: *cheeky grin* Associate BD: Front slide 8, butt slide 8! Head BD: Did you seriously just say that? Boy DM: *Loud Clarinet*, can we go in this barn? *Loud Clarinet*: No, Ross, horses **** in there. Boy DM: *Loud Clarinet*, can we go in that barn? *Loud Clarinet*: Ross, people **** in there. Boy DM: But what about that barn? *Loud Clarinet*: I’m pretty sure it smells like hay. *** I would put more, but all of my band quotes combined add up to about 16 typed pages.
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May 1, 2009 1:16:58 GMT -5
Post by tubagirl on May 1, 2009 1:16:58 GMT -5
As we were arriving in Reno, we saw our hotel. The initials of it were in big letters along the side. Me: Oh, I get it! Grand Sierra Resort, GSB!! For the record, the R looked like a B... just sayin. Bone1, also the guy I like, gets a call from his dad while we're on the bus. Tenor: GET ON YOUR KNEES! Cornet: Put your pants back on! Me: Hey, what was that stripper's name again? Candy? Oh, right, Karamel. Alto: Ahhhh crabs!!! Bone1's dad: Holy. F*ck. *hang up* *long silence* Tenor: Job well done, fellas.
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May 1, 2009 18:44:25 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on May 1, 2009 18:44:25 GMT -5
In Physical Science: Me: *throws pen to teacher* Teacher (who is the football coach and was an All-State quarterback for our school: *drops pen* Me: That's why you played quarterback, not receiver Teacher: If I had a quarterback throwing it to me, I would have caught it, because he wouldn't have thrown it at my kneecap Me: You touched it, you should have caught it Teacher: I stand corrected
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May 1, 2009 19:30:55 GMT -5
Post by jazztastic on May 1, 2009 19:30:55 GMT -5
Senior Alto Sax: Mr. BD, does that say [jazztastic] - Doom Major on the board? Mr. BD: No, whoops! *erases and rewrites "drum major"* No, wait a sec. *looks at me and adds on "of DOOM!!"* Former DM: Ahaha you're evil just like me! Me: *glares* No. Then I get out my t-bone and play former DM's theme song - Darth Vadar's Imperial March. Junior Baritone: Hey! What's up w/ you and former DM's theme song being the Imperial March? Me: What are you talking about? Mine's 1812 Overture! Jr. Bari: Interesting.
Random Flute walks in 5 min. later: what the?? [jazztastic] drum major of DOOM?!?!
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May 11, 2009 14:59:51 GMT -5
Post by SaxGirl on May 11, 2009 14:59:51 GMT -5
I had to print off 50 handouts for a few art classes today. Inevitably, I always seem to have one tiny typo that I could have sworn wasn't there when I printed off the 50 sheets. I also didn't think before I phrased...
Me: *investigating a sheet* NOOOOO! Art teacher: What's wrong? Me: I missed a period! Me: *quick pause* Me: I mean... NO, no, no, NOT LIKE THAT! I meant syntax-wise, not anatomy-wise! Friend: You got a secret to tell us? HEY EVERYONE, KELLY'S PREGNANT!
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