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Post by lightningflute2010 on Mar 24, 2008 14:21:42 GMT -5
Money shouldn't be the most important part of choosing a career. Some of the people who make the most money in the world are the most miserable, and who wants that? True, sophomore year is a bit young to be thinking about careers, but I'm having the same issue as you right now. All I can really say is that listen to what your heart is telling you and do what you feel is right. You have two more years of high school before college, and you don't even have to choose your major right away.
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Post by Greenepony on Mar 24, 2008 17:03:56 GMT -5
My turn for advice... Boy troubles for the short of it. After a lively talk with some people at school about how so-and-so isn't a good party candidate I realized that he and my relationship isn't healthy. Jobs and college is a safe topic but a year down the road you think we'd move past first date talk? I'd love to talk about government or religion or music or books or scifi or anything really in depth. I have no idea what to do about it. I like him well enough, I thought I loved him but now I cringe when I see his SN pop up since I know I'll be drowned in an unceasing amount of IMs or messages or the ilk. I told him that that amount wasn't really necessary but I guess he hasn't gotten the picture. I need my alone time and he grew up in an environments where personal time really isn't a priority. I once thought he was 'the one' (immature thought I know) but I realize now I'm not sure I can stand sitting across the breakfast table from him for the next 50 years. He's a really sweet guy and totally in love with me and I do care for him just not like that, not really anymore, and then there's prom with him next month to look forward too. Advice?
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Post by Pheud on Mar 24, 2008 17:13:20 GMT -5
If I were you,I'd try to end everything very delicately.If you keep going with him trying to make everything better,it'll just get worse.It'll make him even more hearbroken in my opinion.Just be really kind and gentle about it if your going to do it.
If not that extreme,just talk to him and see if the two of you can work it out.
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Post by Horn man on Mar 24, 2008 17:40:44 GMT -5
I say either try to talk to him about it and try to change him or let the man down easy. The longer you stay like that the harder it gets. By far. One of my best friends was in a situation like that and it took her so long to break up with a guy. I felt so sorry for her...
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Post by bariclaribob on Mar 24, 2008 18:51:18 GMT -5
So he doesn't want to talk about "deep" stuff, like what you both expect/want from this relationship? That's a starting point. You could ask him why he's uncomfortable/unwilling/whatever to talk about the future. Maybe that will reveal something about him that will change/not change your mind or make your next step (to end the relationship or continue it) clearer.
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Post by tinkerbell on Mar 24, 2008 20:27:43 GMT -5
Maybe you could meet at a coffeeshop or something and try to talk about whatever you want. That way there's no awkward distracting overtones or whatever and maybe you two could just have a good conversation. I would say to stick it out for a bit and if you're still not into it, then dump him I guess.
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Post by mthsbandrocks on Mar 30, 2008 14:39:49 GMT -5
*raises hand* i gots an issue!!! hokay, so. i like this senior in my band and he sits next to me in band. and we usually talk the whole class. so one day he was mad b/c of some rumor that was going around about him and anither girl and he decided he wouldnt go out with anyone. just go out on dates. but of course, he dosent know i like him. so i was torn but i just played it off and im pretty sure he still dosent know i like him. so what should i do? i like him alot but, idk.
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Post by spacermase on Mar 30, 2008 14:48:26 GMT -5
*raises hand* i gots an issue!!! hokay, so. i like this senior in my band and he sits next to me in band. and we usually talk the whole class. so one day he was mad b/c of some rumor that was going around about him and anither girl and he decided he wouldnt go out with anyone. just go out on dates. but of course, he dosent know i like him. so i was torn but i just played it off and im pretty sure he still dosent know i like him. so what should i do? i like him alot but, idk. Unflattering but true fact: Whenever a guy says that he's given up on relationships, he probably doesn't really mean it. Or, if he does mean it, he will rarely stick to it (there are exceptions, of course, in the case of truly traumatic events, such as the death of your soulmate or what-have-you). However, if he does like you, odds are good (especially at this age) that he'll change his mind quite quickly about not getting involved with anyone.
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Post by mthsbandrocks on Mar 30, 2008 14:54:12 GMT -5
hmmm, well i do hope so. :]
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Post by bariclaribob on Mar 30, 2008 15:26:31 GMT -5
If I were you, I'd just keep on talking to him, as friends, you know? Since he doesn't know that you like him, it would be awkward to bring it up right at the moment when he has (temporarily) renounced girlfriends. See what happens. You just don't want to scare him off or something.
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Post by dalsigno on Mar 30, 2008 15:28:08 GMT -5
^Only one of them well enough to consider giving lessons! But I appreciate the advice. I don't know, guys. It's so confusing. And then there's my parents. My mom is reading some article to me in the paper about this brilliant violinist who gave up music to be one of the best-respected engineers somewhere. And then Dad, talking about some engineer at his office who loves trumpet and was amazing at it but gave it up for engineering and still gets to play sometimes when he arranges music for his church. I don't know. I wish I didn't have to think about it. I too know what you feel. Even though I'm only a freshman, I'm already thinking about a engineering vs. music career. One day my perfect career hit me: acoustical engineer (they design buildings to be acoustically sound, like amphitheaters and what not). The only problem is I was unable to find a single school who offered a degree for it. Maybe you could find something along those lines? Perhaps even designing instruments or other music paraphernalia? ---------- On a rather unrelated note, I seek some music-related advise. In January I switched to horn from trumpet. (Playing horn has seriously been one of my great life dreams.) But ever since I switched I have lost pretty much all of my interest in trumpet. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to switch back next year. I do not wish to go back, but my director is going to force me. I know that it is the best for the band for me to play trumpet, but I just can't come to terms with it yet. How can I make myself interested in trumpet again, and how to I get my mind off the wonderful horn? Better yet how to I get my director to let me keep playing it? I have considered playing it outside of band, but I don't own one. On yet another related note, is it unusual to have such feelings about an instrument? I keep thinking I'm going crazy over it.
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Post by bariclaribob on Mar 30, 2008 15:31:10 GMT -5
I'll deal with your second question first: No. I love my clarinet to death, but after being forced by circumstances to play tenor sax for pep bnad and bari sax for jazz band, I'm beginning to feel like I'm cheating on my first instrument.
I have a question for you now. Why does your bd want you to switch back to trumpet? I'm always used to bds being short on horns, not trumpets.
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Post by dalsigno on Mar 30, 2008 15:40:01 GMT -5
(I think my trumpet hates me now because I'm cheating on him . I still play him for jazz band, but I don't practice him like I used to.) Next year we are going to have (not counting me) three horns (a junior and two freshman) and five trumpets (three seniors and two sophomores). I think, though this may be a little mean, he wants me on trumpet because the majority of the trumpets don't care. Only one actually practices and I don't even know about the 5th yet (he's starting at our school tomorrow). I know my junior year I have to play trumpet because three of the trumpets will be graduated. The only logical conclusion I can draw is my director only permanently switches people that suck at there old instrument. I guess I don't?
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Post by bariclaribob on Mar 30, 2008 15:54:50 GMT -5
If I were you, I'd sit down with your bd and tell him how you feel. I know, that sounds cheesy, but it might work. If you're really good at horn, maybe he'll switch a freshman horn to trumpet. You might get put back on trumpet, but that doesn't mean you can't play horn anymore. Does your school have a pit orchestra for musical? There's also community band. I really think it'll help, though, for you to tell your bd that you really don't want to play trumpet anymore.
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Post by dalsigno on Mar 31, 2008 16:48:20 GMT -5
Well...in all actuality I'm not that great at horn. I hate to make excuses, but three months doesn't really make an amazing player, ya know? I would absolutely love to play horn even outside of school, but like I said, I don't own or have the funds to buy/rent one. (School horn...)
I had a practice today with just the other horn, me, and my director. I couldn't tell if he was happy with me on horn or not. Come to think about it, he hasn't said really anything...
Maybe I'm just worrying too much. My director says I tend to do that. He also says I'm crazy and OCD (what a mean guy right? Haha)
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