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Post by NinjaBaker on Aug 24, 2007 10:36:32 GMT -5
*hugs for bariclaribob and SaxGirl*
SaxGirl, when we have days like your 'heat index of 115' day (which is pretty much every day of summer band and the first month of in school practice), my band director continuously shouts "These are the moments that define us. If you can practise in Hell's a** then you can practice anywhere any time." I get out of practice and feel like I just got out of the pool. I know what you feel with the life getting sucked out of you. I hit that stage a little while back. As far as your section goes, they should be pushing you, not the other way around. While it's true, you can't make people care, you can at least make things not so boring. I'm a total goof and it shows during times in rehearsal when the section is down. Heck, yesterday I orchestrated a mass Oompa Loompa dance of the seniors in the middle of a hold yesterday. Really lightened the mood, but it did get me in trouble.
Senior year is going to be rough. There's nothing you can do about it. It sounds like you've been letting things just build up. Don't let that happen. It's not healthy and someday you'll explode all over the wrong person. You just gotta let it all go. You cannot cannot cannot let it get to you like this. and it happens to everyone. Don't let yourself think it's just you. It's not. Everyone goes through a period like this. and they get over it too.
Ok, last thing. You don't come across as a depressed person. I know a lot of people who are in fact clinically depressed. You don't act like them. Don't convince yourself of that. You're just hitting a rough part in your life. A little bump in the road. It's not your fault. Let me say that again. It's not your fault. Ok? Now just breathe. You're delving far too into this, I think. Breathe.
But seriously? You ever want to rant, shoot me a pm and rant all you like. I promise I'll listen (and read) and do my best to make you feel better.
That goes for anyone. *cheesy grin*
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Post by SaxGirl on Aug 24, 2007 13:46:42 GMT -5
^ Are you sure you aren't a psychologist? Thanks for the figurative slap across the face. I really needed it. And you're right; I'm not depressed, nor am I asking for attention. It just sucks that I'm so unnaturally busy, and it seems like I have less energy than usual! One thing I don't get, though, is when you said, "Your section should be pushing you, not the other way around." Trust me, I have my share of fun at band. It's not supposed to be a boot camp. The old saxophone section leader's motto was "ZERO FUN!," but then he'd proceed to jump out the window during sectionals, hop in his car, and drive down the road and pick up McDonald's cheesburgers for all of us. Last night I tried to encourage everyone and congratulate them instead of just yelling... because hey, I'm not perfect either, I'm far from it. I take it you mean that I should just try to loosen up a little. And yes, I tend to build up emotions, whether they are intensely good or intensely bad. I suppose I should work on that. Thanks for the help.
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Post by lightningflute2010 on Aug 24, 2007 16:56:33 GMT -5
Well, my first week of school sucked. Monday I got to school, just to find out that my best friend was switched out of my math class. And when I got to band that day, and found out we had five more flutes than we planned for, which wasn't exactly great. I think Tuesday and Wednesday were the best days, as one of my really close friends asked me out, and I was truly happy for the first time all summer. And then, of course, things never last for me, since he broke up with me on Thursday without giving me a reason. He's now ignoring me, and won't even sit at our lunch table that we've been sitting at since freshmen year. We lost last night's football game: 18-35 My section is already stirring drama over something as dumb as chairs, which don't matter during marching season anyway, since there's one flute part. Auditions at the end of the year are purely for determining section leaders. Also, one of flutes decided to yell at me at the game yesterday because I made a comment that our mascot costume that we got this year is dumb [Zeus], as are the lightning bolts painted on the fence leading to the school. And, to top it all off, I have JROTC right before gym, so PT days[Fridays] are going to majorly suck, since Colonel is really tough on us this year. I need a hug, like now. I'm really on the verge of crying.
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Post by bariclaribob on Aug 24, 2007 17:00:47 GMT -5
Band is drama on top of teenage drama. I'm dreading my first week of school for that same reason. And next time a flute yells at you, sucker punch 'em. Instant stress-relief. =]
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Post by dumb major on Aug 24, 2007 21:01:36 GMT -5
I found out today that I didn't get the Maryland Distinguished Scholar Scholarship ($3000/yr). I didn't think I was going to, because it factored in my PSAT scores rather than my SAT scores (my PSATs were several hundred points lower than my SATs), but I'm still kind of disappointed.
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Post by oboehorn77 on Aug 25, 2007 8:59:20 GMT -5
This probably is kind of petty, but I'm starting to freak out nonetheless. So I go to two schools. One is the regular highschool, the other is called the alternative program (AP from now on, so don't think of your advanced placement classes. But since I said 'alternative' don't think special ed. either) which is a small school that draws from the two local highschools. It's more of a community, almost family than a regular school. We call teachers by their first names, and everybody pretty much knows eachother. Instead of student government, we have town meeting that the whole school is there for it. We can do anything (as long as the school board approves it ) we want. It's a real democracy, one person one vote, including teachers. (the director is the voice of the schoolboard, so does have veto power, but um, besides that.) Second half of senior year, we go on what is called walkabout where we are not in school and go do something, a project or even an internship type thing, in the world. A lot of people travel overseas and do all sorts of awesome things. Anyway, now you understand the AP in general. Now let me explain scheduling at the AP We have a lot of interesting academic electives. I got an english II credit for a mythology class last year for example. But we don't have band/choir, we don't (used to, but not enough $$) have foreign language, and no AP classes. <--that one stands for advanced placement. For those you go to your 'home school'. There's a bus that runs every period back and forth between the schools. Other thing, classes at the AP are blocked (everyother day) and at the homeschools they're normal periods. Last thing; scheduling at the homeschools is done pretty much before the schoolyear ends the previous year. The AP does it on the first day of school (At the homeschools, it's freshman day so we don't miss anything. Not even the freshies. ) Ug, I've written a lot and haven't even gotten to the point!!! MY ACTUAL PROBLEM BEGINS HEREI'm in band and choir. I'm in Spanish. My plan is to take AP Music theory. Miraculously, these are all in blocks together. (what I mean is, choir and band are p. 3 and 4 respectively, and theory and spanish are 7 and 8.) But I still have to get all my graduation requirements. And remember, I don't have second half of senior year. I've actually started having nightmares about missing scheduling day, and I was awake a whole hour last night thinking about all the things that could go wrong. What if..? What if..? I had a fall back plan. If things didn't work out, I was going to move Spanish to 6th and take the AP gov class that's 5th. (and say goodbye to theory ) But I haven't done all the summer hw for gov. Like, I was supposed to keep track of current events and, erm, um, . Do you realize how hard it is to do work for a class you don't even intend to take when it's summer time?! I got my textbooks on Wednesday and am to page 50 in the theory book already. ( ) I REALLY want that class. There's nothing I can DO about it until Tuesday, and in the mean time, I'm freaking myself out.
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Post by friskylurker on Aug 25, 2007 15:24:38 GMT -5
i got my schedule in the mail today. and i'm not in music theory. i was really really excited for that class. its probably conflicting with latin. which is crap, because my latin teacher told us that IB latin is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS in the afternoon, but it's on my schedule as 2nd period. (third year in a row i'll have latin 2nd, too.) so yeah. i'm pretty upset about that. photography is my alternate, which i guess will be cool, but i really was excited for theory. and it would actually be useful. and its actually something i'm interested in and would be motivated to do the homework for.
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Post by NinjaBaker on Aug 26, 2007 12:35:26 GMT -5
^ Are you sure you aren't a psychologist? Thanks for the figurative slap across the face. I really needed it. And you're right; I'm not depressed, nor am I asking for attention. It just sucks that I'm so unnaturally busy, and it seems like I have less energy than usual! One thing I don't get, though, is when you said, "Your section should be pushing you, not the other way around." Trust me, I have my share of fun at band. It's not supposed to be a boot camp. The old saxophone section leader's motto was "ZERO FUN!," but then he'd proceed to jump out the window during sectionals, hop in his car, and drive down the road and pick up McDonald's cheesburgers for all of us. Last night I tried to encourage everyone and congratulate them instead of just yelling... because hey, I'm not perfect either, I'm far from it. I take it you mean that I should just try to loosen up a little. And yes, I tend to build up emotions, whether they are intensely good or intensely bad. I suppose I should work on that. Thanks for the help. [img src=" img.photobucket.com/albums/v707/tfbc/smilies/hug.gif"] [/IMG] [/quote] Ok, let me explain the "your section should be pushing you" thing. What I mean, is it seems like you are the driving force in your section and the others are hitching along on your enthusiasm. For example, rather than you screaming "Why aren't you set?" they should be wondering why they are set and you aren't ready. If you get what I mean there. Its something that my band director yells at us. Because he's constantly wondering why he's having to be a cheerleader to get us to do what we're supposed to do. He wants us to pull him along and be ready before he has to say anything. Sorry, it's kinda hard for me to explain.
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Post by friskylurker on Aug 26, 2007 21:18:53 GMT -5
i can't fix my schedule. no music theory for me.
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Post by oboehorn77 on Aug 29, 2007 19:35:40 GMT -5
Today was the first day of classes. There are eight periods in a day and I have eight classes. All of them are hard... or sound hard. I wasn't in school today. I have two ear infections in one ear >.< which hurts like heck, so I couldn't go to school. I'm hoping tomarrow that with the help of ibuprofen and the antibiotic I'll be better enough to endure a day of school, but... There are two things that make this hurt more than anything. One is eating. I'm going to have to do that Apparently I have two swollen lymph nodes which is what makes opening my mouth wide and closing it all the way painful. The other thing is playing. >.< The pressure on my ears from blowing into my instrument just keeps building pain and it's bad. Yesterday, I was playing and at first kept telling myself that I had to play through it and learn to deal with pain, but I just couldn't do it. And this morning I was getting ready to go to school and after eating breakfast I just started crying and had to give up on it. It hurt too much. This should pass quickly with the medicine and all, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I miss too much school. I don't have any time to talk to teachers about missed assignments and so forth. OK, I'm starting to make myself more scared, so I'll stop. It's really not good.
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Post by NinjaBaker on Aug 29, 2007 21:01:19 GMT -5
I fell asleep in Calculus and I dunno what we're doing. Something to do with numerically and graphically calculating limits.
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Post by Greenepony on Aug 29, 2007 21:53:27 GMT -5
My life feels like its slowly falling apart for various reasons and I can't talk to anyone because part of the reasons are that none of my friends will have anything to do with me, I feel like since I was gone all this summer they had a vote and decided to vote me metaphorically off the island.
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Post by bariclaribob on Aug 30, 2007 11:04:44 GMT -5
We have a new band director. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that he rearranged the band room. I was in there last night for a pep band, and it's weird. The chairs are facing the outside wall of the school, all the posters are off the walls, replaced with a neat little sign that says "Wind Ensemble" and another one that has the notes of the staff clearly labeled. There are no random doodles on the chalkboard. The school instruments are all neatly grouped in perfect squares, edges parallel to one wall and perpendicular to the other. The bulletin boards are perfectly organized. The lyres are precisely spaced out in a rectangluar fashion on a cart whose wheels are all facing the same direction. The music is properly filed in identical, uniformally labeled folders, which are laid out in two neat rows. The band director's office is also starkly in contrast with the one I knew under Mr. B. The desk slices through the middle of the room, cutting off your passage through the office to the back room after two or three steps. There is a keyboard, precisely angled, set up in one corner, and his trombone placed perfectly on its stand in the other corner. Two certificates (framed and hung identically and squarely) are mounted on the wall behind his spotless desk. The band closet is organized. Drums are to be covered lovingly and stacked in an orderly fashion on their proper shelves, with mallets neatly set down next to them. Wind ensemble uniforms are to be properly hung on their hangers and put in a reasonable order. Pep band jackets are to be neatly alligned on their hangers. If you see ANYTHING on the floor, it is to be picked up and either discarded, put away properly, or put in a pre-determined "Lost and Found" location. Locker doors are to be shut tightly and properly labeled. Instruments that are too big for lockers are to be set against and parallel to a wall. I understand keeping the band area clean and neat, but I'm not sure how well the band will be able to adapt to the spotlessly arranged ex-Marine standards of our new band director. Everyone really seems to like our new director. He's enthusiastic, fun, an excellent musician, and he's been assitant director to our marching band for the past two seasons. The only thing is, the band room was always going to be a constant, familiar presence, always the same no matter who occupied it. I just can't believe that EVERYTHING about band is going to be different now.
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Post by moe on Aug 30, 2007 20:35:05 GMT -5
All this just makes me worry that in college, I'm going to have nervous breakdowns every day. I handle stress worse than most of friends, except for the fact that I don't need excessive amounts of caffeine to stay awake, and I don't let myself lose sleep over school work. I'm like a tightly wound ball of yarn. Everything bothers me. I never snap at my parents, and it seems like I have lately. Everything is getting to me at once... it just makes me wonder if this is what the life of teenager is supposed to be like! Life isn't fair, and I realize that. I also realize that I'm lucky to have a job, that I do well in school, and that I have a wonderful family that loves me. But the little things get to me far too much. I need a stark slap across the face every now and then. All this convinces me that I'm depressed, but I'm not. I just worry more than any human being should be scientifically able to. ok thats scary. you sound exactly like me on my bad days. =\ thank goodness i have friends i can rant to about anything. and Baker's offer of ranting via PM's goes for me as well. I suck at advice, but I sure as heck can listen..er read, and can usually understand
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Post by stickshifty on Sept 4, 2007 19:43:18 GMT -5
HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok... so the last 3 years have pretty much been miserable for me because of my knees. And the problem is, they aren't getting any better. Today I accepted that the acid that they shot into my knees at the end of the school year hasn't worked. They have no clue why they hurt. I'm in pain pretty much all the time and they don't have an answer. I'm so sick of this. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it. I'm so fed up with my knees. My parents have no clue what to do because all of my OSs have stated that the "last resort" was the Synvisc (acid) and that didn't work. I'm so stressed out right now. I hate my schedule this year and band is pure torture. I'm so tired and I just want to sleep for like a year but that's a tiny bit unreasonable. I really just want all my knee pain to go away. I know that "life sucks," but seriously, why do my doctors have to condemn me to a life of pain when I'm only 17?
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