Conflict between me (section leader) and a junior

[11clarinet]

I got section leader this year with my sister. There is one person in our section that can't accept the fact that she didn't get it. We are the seniors and top players and since she is a junior, our BD picked us. But now things are getting out of control. That person will not listen to us, is always talking and has talked behind our backs. I talked to the DM but there wasn't much they could do. I've tried to be really nice and personable to that person but nothing seems to quite work. I noticed that if i am more laidback and easygoing and positive it kind of works, but i'm not sure how long that will last.
Anyone have any advice? Have you experienced this before?

[Trombonium]

That one person is obviously jealous that she didn't get the position.

One thing you can try doing is to be humble about your position. If you're humble about it, they're going to see that you don't think of yourself as "high and mighty", and will probably stop acting up.

Another thing to do is to give them small tasks to do (i.e., enlist their help), so they won't feel less than you. Make them feel important.

If all else fails, pull them aside and talk to them. When you talk to them, use the sandwich technique (Praise them, criticize them, then praise them again).
E.G.: "[name], you have great marching skills and play really well, but your talking and refusal to listen to what we say is only hindering our section's ability to get better. So I need you start listening to what we say and to stop talking out of turn. C'mon, we need you; we look better with you marching on the field with us!

If you've tried talking to them and they're STILL acting up, talk to your BD and tell them everything you've tried to do to get them to stop. Hopefully, things will get straighten out after that.





I hope this has helped.

[jazztastic]

I agree, give them tasks to do. Like, "Hey Junior, I would really appreciate if you would ______ . Thank you." And praising them, but not to the point where it's insincere and puppy-like..

We had this problem in the drumline this year at band camp, but it's definitely over now. Let them take charge a little, praise them, ask them questions, but still hold your position and make that clear to the rest of the section. Over time, it will humble them, well at least that's what happened to my school >.>
Hope everything works out! And this person will probably be section leader next year anyway, right?

[11clarinet]

thanks for the advice. i just don't know how much work i can give the junior, b/c just giving him/her 1 thing to do, they will most likely become high headed and cocky. And yes, nxt year they will be section leader, but i always heard that "to be a leader you must be able to be lead by others." isn't this true?

[jazztastic]

That last statement "to be a leader you must be able to be led by others" I find VERY true. How can one be able to give orders if one can't even follow them?
And being a DM myself, that's most of the job. Following orders by carrying them out.

Try to give this person attention for positive things that they do. Like, there's this trumpet player who is a year older than me, and he used to be one of the biggest behaviour problems in band for the past few years. I decided to change that when I became DM this year. I kept praising him for all the good things he does, and he LOVES attention, so when he receives POSITIVE attention, he'll do things the good things more often, because that's what is getting him the attention. Does that make sense? I hope it does, because I'm terrible at explaining things.

[1frodos1]

thats what i did with a problematic- i asigned them 5 freshmen that he stood next to on the field and told him to keep them in line.There will always be talk behind your back,you may just have to accept it.
another possiblitity is take them to lunch,sit down and ask them what they want for the band and for the section and what there problem is with you.