Jealousy of a fellow member.

[fluttietuttie]

I have a girl in my section. We'll call her Flute. Flute has everything I want. She's close to perfect. She has a super amazing/hot trumpet boyfriend. She is AMAZING at flute. The perfect tone quality, perfect everything. She has the same private lessons teacher. A group of friends she can really trust, and hangs with constantly. Easy-going parents. EVERYTHING. I don't want to be jealous, but how can I not? I'm like her little shadow. We even want to go into the same major at the same college. I hate it so much. How can I NOT be jealous? Especially since we see each other, SO MUCH. We even shared at room at West Chester for DMA camp.

[1frodos1]

Learn from her- ask how she gets that amazing tone and so on and so forth.I'm SL but have a freshmen who's absolutly amazing- it makes it really hard to punnish her for not paying attention especially when she always manages to get the flute up and can play everything.

As for jelosy theres only three things you can do with that a)learn and be as good as her
b) find those things for yourself in your own life.If you cant trust your current friends find some that you can.Try and get lessons if you can ( i know i cant and it makes life difficult).Your never going to be able to "fix" your parents so the best you can hope for is to be able to look at it differently and see advantages to your parents.And any guy that you like and likes you will seem super awsome hot.
c) let your jelosy eat you up and cause you to hate her and attempt to ruin her life and that wont really get you anywhere.

[bariclaribob]

I had a really long response written out to this, but then I forgot to post it before I logged off. I think that jealousy is natural and something that we should feel. I'm jealous of a lot of things my friends have and do. It's how we deal with these feelings that defines us. I could hate my friends and be bitter that they're all beautiful, talented, wonderful, smart people who have great families/guys fauning over them/etc/etc/etc or I could be happy for them. Sometimes, I do let myself feel jealous, but in the end, I always choose to look at what makes me jealous of someone and let that feeling be viewed in a positive sense. Remember, everyone is jealous of someone. This amazing flute player is jealous of someone whether or not you think she does. She may even be jealous of you. Just realize that you do envy her some things, accept that, and then move on. Easier said than done, I know.

[Trumpeting4life]

My advice is... try and turn your jealousy into inspiration...
practice more(and smarter! time isn't everything) at flute... work harder at your studies... maybe be less shy and ask out that guy you've been eyeing... try and build up your "friend base"

the thing is... don't let jealousy negatively influence you, try and find something positive from it...

[bandman001]

I agree with all the comments posted before me, All you can do is better yourself. I would actually ask her how she plays like she does, how she gets the tone she has, and what she has done/how hard she worked to get there. The hardest thing to do is to have courage and to do what seems impossible or just plain hard.

[hansel2011]

I think that you should not let Flute get to you. I would work harder and try to get better than her. Not to show her your better, but to get you in the places you want to be. You said you are SL, great! Maybe you want to make an honor band. Try your hardest to get a higher chair. I am jealous of a girl. She is my cousin and she has everything and good player has. I just used this as fire. I did not want her to get above me so I worked my butt of and I still do. I have been working hard to ge tto the spot that I am at now and I keep on doing everything I can so I can get to the top. I just use her to show me that I can not give up becasue any one can take it away if I do not work at it!! It will all be good in the end.

[brassdancer]

I think the best thing to do is just admire her and use her amazingness as a motivator to practice more yourself. In my studio, I'm pretty much in the middle of the pack. I hang out with the 2nd and 3rd highest seated in my studio. They are super awesome guys and keep me grounded about playing. They are great at euphonium, and I practice alot more since I hang with them. However, they never really judge me by my playing. I hate when people do that, thinking you are a good person by how well you play or such. But I think the best thing in your situation is try to befriend her and use her good playing as a motivator. When you practice, say to yourself you want to get her tone quality or something. Having someone who is better than you is good in some ways cause it shows you how you yourself can improve by imitating their playing style. But don't forget what makes you unique as well!