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Post by clarinetlover on Oct 21, 2008 18:20:28 GMT -5
Seeing a color guard dressed entirely in black at a band show Trumpet: Whoa. It’s like, the evil color guard of death. 'Twirl, twirl, die. Twirl, twirl, I will kill you'
BD: [blah, blah, blah], but measure [whatever] is the climax of the piece. This is the baby throwing section. Few people: What? BD: Let me explain. At this part of the piece, mothers will be so moved by your playing that they will willingly sacrifice their infants to the band. Band: *laughter* Sousa: *leans back with the sousaphone and moves around* BD: *turns around* (The bass line stands mostly behind the BD for marching band music) What are you doing? Sousa: *innocently* I’m getting ready to catch the babies. At band show, waiting to march on: BD: Flying babies. I want to see flying babies. Clarinet: Yeah. The sousaphones will catch theme.
Right before this, we had talked about how it’s disgusting how gross it is to get a gas station sandwich. Clarinet: Man, this thing is gross. *Drops part of sandwich on floor* Trombone: Now it’s a gas station floor sandwich. *Looks at random person* Hey, want some gas station floor sandwich?
The next week: Alto sax: Ew [Trombone 2] why are you eating a gas station sandwich? Trombone and I together: It’s a gas station floor sandwich
At the gas station Tenor sax: Ew… they make gas station floor muffins, too? Me: And gas station floor danishes
Me: *looks around store, fulled with maybe 40 band people* Whoa... the Blue Canoe sure gets a lot of business on friday nights. We like a cult. Baritone: Well, [BD] does say we could take over a small country. Me: The Blue Canoe is kind of a country.
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Post by spacermase on Oct 21, 2008 22:36:07 GMT -5
BD: [blah, blah, blah], but measure [whatever] is the climax of the piece. This is the baby throwing section. Few people: What? BD: Let me explain. At this part of the piece, mothers will be so moved by your playing that they will willingly sacrifice their infants to the band. Band: *laughter* Sousa: *leans back with the sousaphone and moves around* BD: *turns around* (The bass line stands mostly behind the BD for marching band music) What are you doing? Sousa: *innocently* I’m getting ready to catch the babies. At band show, waiting to march on: BD: Flying babies. I want to see flying babies. Clarinet: Yeah. The sousaphones will catch theme. Ha, my high school BD used the baby-throwing expression as well. The pit always wondered aloud when he said one of them if they could get insured against flying-baby-damage.
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Post by bariclaribob on Oct 22, 2008 17:50:26 GMT -5
Pit orchestra
We always warm up with a Bb scale
bd: And the scale! horn: Which one? *laughter* bd: One guess. *cues us* *sounds gross* bd: Uh... again, but this time, don't sound poopy. sax: That didn't sound poopy! It sounded awesome! *silence* horn: I guessed wrong.
*we play a passage* bd: Louder there, bcb. me: ... but it has 3 p's... pianissississimo. bd: That means quiet, not anemic.
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Post by clarinetlover on Oct 22, 2008 21:02:32 GMT -5
Clarinet: When the mouthpiece alone for my instrument cost me three times as much as your entire instrument including the mouthpiece and the case, that’s when you know you’re getting a good deal… or you’re getting a really crappy instrument and you have some terrible online shopping skills... I’m glad it’s the first one.
Alto sax: I think the seller forgot to type an extra 0 or something when he was making the page. Or he’s just on crack. Or he found it on the side of the road and had no clue what it was. I really don’t care. Whatever he did, I’m glad.
He managed to get a new, quality alto on ebay for TWENTY FREAKING DOLLARS after he completely destroyed his other one after his neck strap broke and the sax fell down a few fights of stairs. Yes: 20! It’s worth at least 200. And the shipping was only 10 dollars – so altogether he got a shiny new sax for $30. I’m so jealous. It was really good quality too, you can hardly tell it’s used. Later – Me: *having a revelation* Ew, wait [Alto] you aren’t using the mouthpiece that it came with, are you? Alto sax: Uh no. My other one was fine. Me: Okay, good. That’d be disgusting.
Flute: Wait, what if the person who sold it to you did like, dirty things with it? Alto sax: Like, ‘I just dropped it in the mud’ dirty or… Flute: They might have thought that ‘sax’ was euphemism for… something…. Else.
Other Alto sax: [blah, blah, blah] I mean seriously, you did buy that thing off of ebay. BD: WHAT? What happened to your other one? Alto sax: Um, it had an unfortunate accident…
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Post by Marine. on Oct 23, 2008 18:26:52 GMT -5
in the dressing room at the cncbf
Trumpet SL: "Hey matt, do you want rosa parks dead?" Me: "um...sure" Trumpet SL: "HEY LARRY! MATT WANTS ROSA PARKS DEAD!!" Larry: *sarcastically* "WELL SHE'S ALREADY DEAD SO WHAT THEN"
On the bus going there Blake: "This bus is full of negros cause we're all sitting in the back"
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Post by bariclaribob on Oct 24, 2008 22:18:04 GMT -5
Pep band
sax: Ugh, I've had this crappy sax since fifth grade! That's eight years with this thing! me: I have my same clarinet from fifth grade, so don't feel bad. sax: You do? Wow. You sound so good, though! I mean, I didn't think that it was possible to get that good of a sound out of a crappy instrument! me: ... thanks?
We were talking about how songs get reputations
bd: Yeah, whenever I hear that song, I think of car commercials. me: My mom thinks that Rhapsody in Blue was written for the United commercials. bd: Want to hear the story behind the clarinet gliss? me: Heck yes! bd: Well, Gershwin originally wrote that as a chromatic scale, but at the first performance, the clarinetist improvised and turned it into a gliss/bend thing. me: I hate him. bd: I can teach you how to do it. me: How? bd: Run up to D on the staff, then slide your fingers all off to the high C and bend it. *I sit there and think it through for a minute* sousa: Still hate the clarinetist who ruined it? me: How did you know?
tenor: Me and [bari] are making a run to the parking lot. Want to let us back into the school? me: Sure. sousa: Where are you going? me: On a quest to the parking lot. sousa: I'm coming too. *we all go, then tenor and bari go out to their cars* *me and sousa let them back in* *sousa opens the inner door to the hallway* *tenor and bari walk through* me: What are you waiting for? sousa: For you to walk through the door. me: Why? sousa: Why?! me: Yeah. Why are you holding the door open? sousa: BECAUSE I'M BEING NICE! *literally shoves me through the door and halfway down the hall at a run* me: I can tell.
I have this tough cadenza in one scene of the musical that depends on the singing soloist plus a bunch of other stuff
me: So, I was wondering where exactly my cadenzas start... bd: Well... it depends. It depends on the singer and the speed and where the pit lines up and how the choir director wants it and the drama director wants it... so... well, I'm not sure, but I think that we might just cut your solos. me: They're getting cut? I don't have to practice them anymore?! bd: Well, they might. Still practice, but don't spend all your time on them. me: Sweet. *I turn around and take two steps* me: HEY, [PERCUSSION]! WE'RE CUTTING MY UGLY SOLOS!!! *bd laughs and shakes his head* bd: And this is how rumors get started.
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Post by iFrostyflute on Oct 25, 2008 19:27:16 GMT -5
Tubas: [don't have their music] Silent Emotionless BD: Tubas fail. Band: [whispers] Epic fail. Silent Emotionless BD: Epic fail.
[At Area] Announcer: And Insert Band Name Here is playing Vertigo. 1. Flight, 2. Dizziness, 3. Falling, and 4. Blackout. WE Bassoon: It's like getting drunk!
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Post by clarinetlover on Oct 26, 2008 14:33:51 GMT -5
Watching some of the drumline replace a bass drum head that the owner completely destroyed right before a game: Me: Ha. How many drummers does it take to replace a drum head? Clarinet: 8. 3 to unscrew the broken head, take it off, put on the new one, and screw that on; 1 to hold the new head while waiting to give it to one of the first 3; and 5 to stand around them and watch without actually making an effort to help.
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Post by Marine. on Oct 26, 2008 17:50:44 GMT -5
Watching some of the drumline replace a bass drum head that the owner completely destroyed right before a game: Me: Ha. How many drummers does it take to replace a drum head? Clarinet: 8. 3 to unscrew the broken head, take it off, put on the new one, and screw that on; 1 to hold the new head while waiting to give it to one of the first 3; and 5 to stand around them and watch without actually making an effort to help. 3 + 1 + 5 = 9?
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Post by clarinetlover on Oct 26, 2008 20:18:02 GMT -5
Watching some of the drumline replace a bass drum head that the owner completely destroyed right before a game: Me: Ha. How many drummers does it take to replace a drum head? Clarinet: 8. 3 to unscrew the broken head, take it off, put on the new one, and screw that on; 1 to hold the new head while waiting to give it to one of the first 3; and 5 to stand around them and watch without actually making an effort to help. 3 + 1 + 5 = 9? Lol, yeah, sorry. That was my mistake not hers. There were 9 of them not 8. I knew that, just typed it wrong. Oops.
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Post by Flutist Kes on Oct 26, 2008 21:14:39 GMT -5
I just had a weird adventure about pants this week... Let me explain. I still needed my black pants for Pep Band, but we couldn't find them. Anyways, that of course would have a ton of randomly dubious quotes. Me: Dr. M, when are you going to give me my pants back? Some Random Students: Dr. M: *Who got it and played along with it.* Well, let's go to the basement and look for them. Students: [Now that we can't find them, I'm trying on a bunch of different ones to use.] Dr. M: Here, try these. *Throws pants in the girls bathroom* Me: *Puts them on.* Yeah, these'll work. Dr. M: Let me see. Me: *I pull my shirt up a little.* Dr. M: Yeah, those'll work for now. But they're too long. Go find safety pins in the desk. [Later] Me: I still can't find them! Dr. M: OK... Lets use masking tape. [At this point, Dr. M is holding one of my feet and trying to tape my pants up inside the leg and I've got my other one doing the same thing. A tuba walks in.] Tuba: Well... this is awkward. Me: ... You know, it's a pretty good thing I trust you, Dr. M. Dr. M: Always a plus with the students.
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Post by clarinetlover on Oct 27, 2008 14:28:45 GMT -5
I don't remember exactly how this went, but something like this:
BD: *looks to where the tuba should be, in between the trumpets and trombones* [Tuba]? Tuba: I'm over here. *sitting at far end of tombones* DB: What are you doing? Get to your seat. Tuba: There were no more chairs and they didn't leave a space for me. So I just sat here. DB: [Tuba] You're 7 feet tall! You can make them move. Tuba: They don't listen to me. DB: You're 7 feet tall! They don't have to listen to you, you can just pick them up and move them. *Pantomimes getting picked up and tossed around by him*
He is like, 6'4 or something outrageously tall like that, though.
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Post by bariclaribob on Oct 27, 2008 17:32:04 GMT -5
At pit orchestra
bd: Let's play the third measure of the first ending again, eighth note people! *we play it reallllly slowly* *I turn around to talk to samthered* me: (whispering) This is the measure. *I point out the eighth notes* samthered: That? trumpet: That's what you're working on? bd: Let's try it up to speed! *we play the easy run* bd: Now, from the beginning! *we play* *we play the eighth note phrase* bd: Good job, bariclaribob! *oboe and flute burst out laughing* *I start laughing* *samthered starts laughing* *pit falls apart*
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Post by iFrostyflute on Oct 27, 2008 18:51:57 GMT -5
Silent Emotionless BD: [talking about costumes for the Halloween party] For those of you who are using a likeness of me as your costume ... I am now copyrighted. If you go to the Halloween party as me, you will have to pay me. Band: [laughs hysterically] S Flute: How much would we have to pay you? Silent Emotionless BD: ... $500.
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Post by bariclaribob on Oct 28, 2008 18:43:07 GMT -5
At pit orchestra
*I play my cadenza* bd: Bariclaribob! That was really good! Now play it again. LOUDER. *I play it again* oboe: Bcb, you're a beast. geeky bd: Yeee-ahaw! This is your opportunity to go, "I'm bariclaribob! I'm a beast!" *pit dissolves into hysterical laughter* me: Did he just say I'm a beast?
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