Band Quotes v. 4

[yummiebears]

Oct 28, 2008 18:43:07 GMT -5 bariclaribob said:

At pit orchestra

*I play my cadenza*
bd: Bariclaribob! That was really good! Now play it again. LOUDER.
*I play it again*
oboe: Bcb, you're a beast.
geeky bd: Yeee-ahaw! This is your opportunity to go, "I'm bariclaribob! I'm a beast!"
*pit dissolves into hysterical laughter*
me: Did he just say I'm a beast?

So my band goes to a solo/ensemble festival every year and I was in the brass sextet (ahhahaha...). After we played the judge gave us our critique and he told me that I need to play louder. As we were walking out of the theater, my BD comes up BD say that scared me into playing like a beast.

[iFrostyflute]

Silent Emotionless BD: Trumpets, raise your hand. Your right hand, actually. You're going to make a promise.
Trumpets: [raise right hands]
Silent Emotionless BD: I promise ...
Trumpets: I promise ...
Silent Emotionless BD: To never sight-read ...
Trumpets: To never sight-read ...
Silent Emotionless BD: That poorly ...
Trumpets: That poorly ...
Silent Emotionless BD: Ever again.
Trumpets: Ever again.
Silent Emotionless BD: Amen.
Trumpets: [snicker] Amen.

[clarinetlover]

The sort of assistant BD (I'm actually not sure what her title woulld be): Okay, everyone wearing red, count this rhythm for me. If you have red on you anywhere. Red shirt, red earring, red sock... anything that's showing, you don't have to tell me what color underwear you're wearing. Okay, 1, 2, 3...
Red people: *count*
ABD: Okay, now the red people and people wearing green.
Red and green: *Count*
ABD: Okay, people in blue.
Blue people: *count*
ABD: Okay, hmm who's left. The black people, you're up.
Band: *Burts out laughing*

The few african-american kids just stood up and pretended to get ready to count.

[iFrostyflute]

Silent Emotionless BD: ... okay. Freshman trumpets, raise your right hand.
8/9 of Trumpet Section: [raise their right hands]
Silent Emotionless BD: I, freshman trumpet ...
Fish Trumpets: I, freshman trumpet ...
Silent Emotionless BD: Promise to stop acting like ...
Fish Trumpets: Promise to stop acting like ...
Silent Emotionless BD: Freshmen from this day forth.
Fish Trumpets: Freshmen from this day forth.
Silent Emotionless BD: Amen.
Fish Trumpets: Amen.
S Flute: [whispers] I wonder how long that's gonna last?
me: [whispers] What if one of them's atheist?

[bariclaribob]

Study hall

samthered: Ooh! I LOVE transposing to concert A!
*pause for hysterical laughter*
me: I think you've achieved a new level of band geek.

[clarinetlover]

Sitting with Sax on bus:

Sax: *sees me holding my clarinet* Oh nuts!
Me: What?
Sax: I put my alto in my locker after band! I didn’t even think to get it!
Me: Uh, so? We have a game tomorrow, you can just get it then, you know.
Sax: But, what if it’s locked! What if I can’t get to it? What if I go into the hallway to try the other door and they’re both locked and I’m locked out of the band room and in the hallway! And everyone else brought their instruments home and will just go straight down to the field for practice, so no one will even see me so I’ll just be stuck!
Me: *staring like she’s insane* You can't get locked inside the hallway. You're in the school, there are a billion doors you can go out of. And there will obviously be people in the band room, [Sax]. The drum line needs to get in there and they need to get the pit stuff. And you are definatly not the only one who forgot their instrument. Some people left it in there on purpose. So just go in there, get your sax and have someone waiting to drive you down to the field. Okay?
Sax: …But WHAT IF!

I seriously thought she was going to have a melt down. I would probably do the same thing though… If she for whatever odd reason, gets locked in the hallway without her sax, it's going to be all my fault...

[bariclaribob]

Band bus

*clarinet staggers to the back of the bus*
clarinet: Sugar. I. Need. Sugar.
*I thrust a pixie stick at her*
*clarinet takes it like a shot*
clarinet: More.
me: I'm out.
*clarinet collapses on the floor next to me*
me: Wait!
*I whip out Swedish fish*
clarinet: That'll do.

[yummiebears]

Yesterday, my band was at our one and only festival for the first semester. (We have a few more second semester). After a group performed on stage, they had an onstage clinic. During the last group that we had to watch this one judge was talking to the other group and said
"Its like a lollipop, once you like it, you're like, mmm!"
Everyone in my band laughed, the group on the stage managed to tone down their laughter. Poor clinician, he was pretty confused.

[bariclaribob]

Pep band

tuba: Hey, bcb!
me: What?
tuba: Want some Nerds?
*pause*
me: Are you calling me a nerd?
sousa: OHHH!
tuba: Nononono! I just thought you... might... want some... Nerds?
*I turn my back on him all fake-huffy-like*
*pause*
tuba: Bcb?
me: What?
tuba: Please turn around.
*I turn around*
me: What?!
tuba: Do you want some Sweettarts instead?
me: What's that supposed to mean?
tuba: Uh... it means you're sweet, and, uh, well, the, uh, last part doesn't, uh, mean anything...
*awkward silence*
sousa: Is he hitting on you, bcb?

me: So, [tuba], where were you last night, since you didn't come to pep band?
tuba: I was at a party.
*I do an exaggerated yawn*
tuba: No, no, it was fun! Like, it was at [kid]'s house, and there was this little four-year-old boy there wearing a Batman costume, and he was so cute! I took him trick-or-treating.
*awkward silence*
me: Did you just say that a little boy was cute?
tuba: Yeah!
sousa: That's creepy.
tuba: Uh-uh! What's creepy is going to stranger's houses to get candy.
me: Didn't you do that with him?
*silence*
me: That makes what you did last night perverted and illegal.
tuba: Nuh-uh! It wasn't... illegal.

me: Look, [tuba]! See those cute little boys on the football field?
tuba: Yeah?
sousa: They're running away now.
me: Booking it.
tuba: They're fast.
me: I don't think I've ever seen little boys run that fast.
sousa: [Tuba], do you know them, by any chance?

Okay, so the sousa came up with the Awkward Hood. Whenever you say or do something awkward, you have to put up your hood.

junior: You look kind of like a chipmunk, bcb.
sousa: Awkward hood!

Okay, so we decided in some weird way that based on the current score and certain prime numbers, we could win the game. It all depended on what number seats we were sitting on.

me: I'm sitting on 7!
clarinet: I'm on 6!
me: Uh-oh. What's [sousa] sitting on?
clarinet: Does it matter?
me: Think about it.
*pause*
clarinet: Are you saying that the whole game depends on [sousa]'s buttocks?
*pause*
me: Awkward hood. Put it on. And don't take it off.
sousa: I heard my name.
me: You don't want to know.
sousa: Uh-oh. [clarinet]'s wearing the awkward hood. What'd she say about me?
me: It's reallllly awkward.
clarinet: Not really.
me: Yes, it is. Don't repeat it. You'll regret.
sousa: I wanna know!
*he covers my ears*
clarinet: Well, it had to do with winning the game... and your rear end...
*he uncovers my ears and covers his own*
me: You made it more awkward!!!

sousa: I want to learn how to play clarinet.
me: It's so easy. If I can do, anyone can.
*pause*
sousa: I can't.
me: I just heard you play a bunch of C's!
sousa: On my seventh try!
*silence*
*sousa reaches over and puts up my hood*

sousa: What's this button?
me: It's not a button, it's a hole. It's actually the f hole.
*sousa puts up my hood*
me: Aw, come on! It's not that awkward!
clarinet: What'd she say?
sousa: That this is the f hole.
clarinet: That makes me feel awkward.
*puts up her hood*

The sousa is sitting between me and clarinet.
tenor: Bcb! Did you hear?
clarinet: Don't tell her! Don't tell her!
me: What?
sousa: This could get awkward.
tenor: [clarinet]'s getting a wood clarinet next month.
*dead silence*
me: WHAT?!
*sousa puts up his hood*

On the bus

me: My mom asked me how I like playing bari for pep band, like if it's a pain to carry the case. I told her no, and that if I really wanted to, I might be able to just whine and get someone else to do it for me, and she was like, what about that one freshman?
sousa: [tuba]?
me: Yep.
sousa: He'd probably drop it and break it.
me: Again.
sousa: Again. Or steal it.
me: Gosh, [tuba]. Why would you do that? You sicken me.
tuba: What'd I do?
sousa: Gosh, [tuba].
tuba: WHAT DID YOU TELL HER???
me: I cannot believe you right now.
tuba: DANG YOU, [SOUSA], WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?
*sousa says something I can't hear*
tuba: Don't call her crazy!
*silence*
me: Did you call me crazy, [sousa]?
sousa: I don't know what he's talking about.
tuba: He called you crazy.
sousa: Stop lying to her!
tuba: You lied!
sousa: You did!
*goes on*

Building on that... at the game

*sousa and tuba are talking*
sousa: We figured it our, bcb.
me: This better be good.
sousa: It is. You see--
tuba: It was all a misunderstanding.
me: Uh-huh.
sousa: Okay, so I went like this--
*scratches his head*
sousa: --and [tuba] thought I was going like this--
*does the whole spinning his finger in circles by his head thing*
sousa: --so he thought that I was saying you were crazy, but I wasn't. So neither of us was lying. It was all a big misunderstanding!
me: Uh-huh.
tuba: We failed.
*I turn my back on them to get my music out for the next song*
sousa: Ahh, bcb! Grr! I wouldn't lie to you! If I ever lie to you, I will throw myself under a bus.
*me and the saxes turn around*
tenor: What?
sousa: I said I would throw myself under a bus for you, bcb. Now do you trust me?
*silence*
sousa: Did you not hear the bus-throwing-under statement? I said that I would throw myself under a bus for you!
tenor: Well.
me: That's, uh... dedication all right.

More later.

[iFrostyflute]

WE Trombone: Geez, S Euph, how long does it take you to change?! (out of his uniform)
S Euph: I'm a freshman!!

WE Trombone: [tells me about above conversation]
me: Maybe you should help him change next time.
WE Trombone: ... EWWWWWW.

[clarinetlover]

Me: *Sees advertisement to buy tickets to the school play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream* Oh my god! Saturday night at 7pm? Conveniently placed at the same exact time at the game we have in [town that’s 45 minutes away]? How’s that going to work?
Baritone (who is in stage crew): Oh, I can skip that show. I’m just an usher; they can fill in for me easily.
Me: I don’t care about you! [DM3] is Oberon. He’s a lead! And isn’t [DM2] in it too? What? Is [DM1] going to do the entire show?
Baritone: I don’t know. Wow… that would be a disaster. Would he really be able to control us? Like at all? All three of them yelling at us usually doesn’t even work.

(I seriously have NO CLUE how we're going to pull this off!)

[Deleted]

UNDERSTUDIES

[clarinetlover]

Alright so, generally when someone yells ‘Hey Band’ to us, we yell ‘Hey what’ back to let them know they have our attention. It’s just a reflex.
DM: *puts hands around mouth to project his voice* HEY BAND! We ne-
Everyone: *before he can continue* HEY WHAT!?
DM: *takes down hands, and rolls eyes. He didn’t want us to call back to him, just for us to listen* [Continues with whatever he was saying.]
Sax: They’ve trained us well.
Someone else (can’t remember who it was): Too well. We’re like robots.

Nov 3, 2008 22:00:38 GMT -5 @oscarisamazing said:

UNDERSTUDIES

Yes, there are understudies, I realize that. But honestly, I can't imagine that they'd both pick the band over the play. They are very dedicated DMs but more so for acting. One of them has missed out on a band commitment for a play before, and I can see him doing it again.

But if they do decide to use their understudies, the people going to see the play that night are going to get quite a different play... I'm not sure who Oberon's understudy is, but no one can really compare to the incredible actor he is.

And anyway, it was just the conversation we had... and I'm no genious on play performance rituals.

[Greenepony]

From Thee BUGWB'er (the travel newspaper)

TBS1:"I'm sick of dressing you ever single morning! I can't overemphasize how important it is for you to dress yourselves"

Horn SL:"Jugabulation- a festive dance meaning to shake your fat"

BD2: "We know the right answers, now need just need to make it happen with our bodies"

Editor of Thee BUGWB'er"Woah, you have a BS button?"

Horns: "Jarett, what did you have for breakfast?"
Jarett: "AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (throw computer across the room)"

BD2: "We just need to get our legs wrapped around this."

VERY gay Sax: "What's wrong with wanting to be a girl"

Editor: "On a scale of 2 to Lindsay how awkward is that?"

DM1: "90% of Brittany is half mental"

BD1:"What's better than cookies and Jesus?"

[claribeth]

i missed band today(i had to finish a project so i checked in)

me:anything interesting happen in band today? did BD give a speech about the election and how everything we do effects the world like he usually does?
french horn:no, but he somehow tied if we were going to get in a good college and job to whether or not we had our flip folders and lyre for the check.
me:the usual?
fh:the usual