claribeth
Band Nerd
"I love band! Band is my life! If I didn't have band, I think I'd die!"
Posts: 315
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Post by claribeth on Sept 29, 2008 20:37:13 GMT -5
looks like its time for a new thread!
to start us off,
well this 1 didnt happen in my band class but its funny so i'll post it
in the intermediate band there was a not so good(to put it in a nice way) percussion player
Percussion player:*plays really off beat* asst. BD: go to the music store and buy you some rythm!
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Post by flutebandgeek on Sept 30, 2008 1:34:50 GMT -5
Ok, so we were walking to our sectional practice with the clarinets. Our section is all females, so as we walked by the bathrooms, I told my friend, "You know, since our section is all girls, we could technically have a sectional in the bathroom. Techincally."
Friend: "But wouldn't that be kinda awkward for the people who go in to use it?" Me: "Yeah, but I did say TECHNICALLY we could." Friend: "True...."
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Post by fluttietuttie on Sept 30, 2008 21:03:13 GMT -5
^ Funny thing is, we had two guys in our section last year. We had sectionals in the girls cabins and in the girls bathroom at school. Even took photos in it.
Today, during practice, our visual guy put in a new visual.
Visual Guy: We're gonna add a quick visual. Me: Is it a good one? VG: I named it, "Clubbing the seals." *flutes/piccs laugh*
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jman
Newbie
I'd rather be baritone
Posts: 33
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Post by jman on Sept 30, 2008 21:09:48 GMT -5
Me: Hey, Little clarinet dude, you need to ask GMan (what we call our BD at times) if you can buy an ombature, because yours looks a little rough. LCD: Ok. -walks in BD's office- Mr. G, can i buy an ombature? BD: ... We'll talk about this tomarrow. Me and the other three people in on it died laughing.
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Post by iFrostyflute on Sept 30, 2008 21:59:13 GMT -5
^ That about cracked me up.
Mustachioed BD: Did Senior Sax just get owned by a freshman? Band: OHHHHHHHHHH ...
Silent Emotionless BD: [talking about kicking it up a notch for contest] On the field, get it done! Or as they say today, git 'er done! Band: [cracks up] [For those of you who don't know, Silent Emotionless BD has a habit of saying everything in a deadpan manner.]
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Post by bariclaribob on Oct 1, 2008 18:43:20 GMT -5
In the theory room
*me messing around on the piano* *bd walks out the door* *I play the first three notes of Mozart's clarinet concerto* *bd pokes his head back in* bd: Mozart's Concerto for Clarinet? *I nod* bd: Thought so. *leaves*
In the band hall
me: What music did you put in the folders? *I look at my part* me: Woah. First clarinets go up to a double G? bd: Do they? *looks at it* bd: Well, you can play that, can't you? me: I can, but I don't know if the others know the fingering. bd: Well, that's where you come in, because you are Bariclaribob Lastname! me: Oookaaaay....
In band
bd: Raise your hand if you are the most important person at measure X. *no one raises their hands* kid: Go trombones! bd: No! [trumpet]'s hand should be up! *she raises her hand* bd: .... and? *bd glares at me* bd: And bariclaribob. Raise your hand higher, Bariclaribob Lastname! me (quietly to 2nd chair): Why does he always say my last name?
EDIT: More quotes!
At lunch
freshman: Are you in the pit? me: For the musical? freshman: Yeah! me: Yes, I am. freshman: High five! me: Are you even in the musical? *pause* tuba: I am. me: I know you are. I just don't remember seeing [freshman]'s name on the list. tuba: I never saw the list. Everyone just told me that I made it. me: What if you didn't? tuba: That'd suck if everyone just told me I made it... that'd be so mean! me: Well, have you gone to rehearsal yet? tuba: ... no. me: Then how do you know that you made it? Or maybe you're the lead? What then? tuba: I... don't... know.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2008 21:01:25 GMT -5
(after a good run-through) BD: CON HUEVOS! (long story)
(Our student teacher and band manager have an interesting relationship; see the other thread) Boner2: I bet ST has a hit list, and BM is on top Me: And then he has a picture of BM on the wall with darts in it ST: Oh, no, that's on my front door
Clarinet: We're actually friends, we just do this alot Flute: Yeah, it happens Me: *puts arm around DM, who hates me* Same here. We just pretend a lot.
DM (on phone): Uh, 8thgradetrumpet needs shoes, and I assumed we have extras. Do we? Me: Not unless she wears a men's 13. DM (after a long pause): Oh.
So, I bought a six-pack of Dr. Pepper and when I came back, they were all gone. I happened to see Clarinet1 (clarinet from above) drinking one. Me: *stands and stares at Clarinet1* Her group: What? Clarinet1: *cracks up* Me: Clarinet1, I saw you drinking my soda. Fess up. Clarinet2 (having kept a straight face): I'm sorry, Oscar, I'm sorry! We thought it was some freshman! We'll buy you more! Me: *keeps staring at Clarinet1, not changing expression* Clarinet1: Are you mad? BD told us we could! *I keep staring* Clarinet1: I'm so sorry! Don't be mad! Me: I never said I was mad, I just like watching you squirm.
*My facebook status is "wishes he had a spine* DM (in a comment): Let me guess, you didn't ask her? Me: Well no nuts, Sherlock DM: I was trying to be compassionate. Me: If you were compassionate, you wouldn't publicize it. DM: Well, sorry! (next day) DM (in person): I'm sorry I made that comment Me: I just thought it was funny; whenever I try to be compassionate, I come across as an not a very nice person, too. It's just funny.
BD: We'll be starting on the fifty, which starts with a five, DM! (DM went off the forty at our first game) DM: *leaves room* Low brass: *Cheers and whoops* DM: *comes back* Fine, I hate you too (At A&W later) DM: You all cheered when I left Clarinet/Flute: We didn't! Me: I cheered. I cheered loud. DM: Oh, shut up.
Clarinet: I have Sax's baby Trumpet: I KNEW you were cheating on me!
BD: Tenor, even if you're healthy, wear your gimp thing so the judges will be like, why is that tenor player on the sidelines? Oh, he's crippled. Let's give them more points for Tiny Tim there.
BD: *does pushups for screwing up* Me: Get your butt down! BD: *finishes pushups and chases after me*
Accordion: Should I wait to deflate myself?
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Post by hsmarchingnerd on Oct 2, 2008 22:34:51 GMT -5
During eighth grade band practice, we were playing Star Wars when the trumpets really, really messed up their part.
BD: *stops band and looks at trumpets* Trumpets, I think you just scared off Darth Vader.
During marching band, while working on a dance move-
BD: You have to squat down, kinda like a football player! Me: So, we're mocking the football team? Sweet.
About a part in our 2006 show- Flute player: It's the Boxy Buffalo, Yo!
At a football performance- Announcer: And now please join the band for the school fight song! Band: *leaves field*
Okay, that last one wasn't a quote, but it was a funny situation.
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Post by spacermase on Oct 2, 2008 22:53:10 GMT -5
*during sectionals*
Asst. Woodwind instructor: *to piccolo section* You know guys, I've been on vacation for the last two weeks, and I have to say, in that time, your tone has improved tons.
Piccolo SL: Hey, everybody, listen up! She just complimented us on our tone! That doesn't happen very often! BE EXCITED!
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Post by Greenepony on Oct 3, 2008 0:55:21 GMT -5
^Oh my goodness, your SL sounds like mine. Just add "Sic'em ___" every few words.
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Post by altoclarinets on Oct 3, 2008 18:28:21 GMT -5
At community band: <baritones and trombones kill first note of Mountain King> Director: <cutting off> That was about as exciting as a bowl of jell-o that hasn't jelled yet.
In the DM's car: <rap song comes on> DM:<who is normally waaay serious> YEAAAAAHHHHHHHH! WHAT!!! SEXY CANNON!!!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2008 23:21:59 GMT -5
before game BD: You guys know how cool you look?
My catch phrase whenever something goes wrong is "balls!", and so the third trombone picked it up while we were playing.
Boner3: Bolas de arbol de Navidad!
Me (at random times): Dude, you dropped the pass!
Me: EEEYAH!
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Post by Greenepony on Oct 4, 2008 0:11:53 GMT -5
BD: Now stay hydrated tonight. I mean it, if you start drinking tomorrow it'll be too late! *band giggles* Water! Drink Water! Don't you dare go out and do that "fun stuff" ya'll like to do. Flute: Hey [greene], you ought to tell [mm] that.
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Post by iFrostyflute on Oct 4, 2008 10:00:06 GMT -5
S Flute: Hey, Silent Emotionless BD, are those new shoes? Silent Emotionless BD: ... I've had these for a while. S Sax: He wears them every Tuesday and Friday! Band: [laughs]
WE Flute: Okay, that's it Silent Emotionless BD. First you lock me in the locker room, and now you're making fun of me. -pout- S Flute: Silent Emotionless BD, are you being a bully?
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Post by bariclaribob on Oct 4, 2008 17:49:07 GMT -5
Walking down to the football field
*I bumble around with my bari sax and a bass drum stand* tenor: Woah there. me: Sorry. tenor: You didn't hit me, you hit [snare]. *snare marching band glare/stares at me* me: Sorry! *he does the whole I'm-watching-you-eye-to-eye thing* me: I said I was sorry! *he suddenly smiles* snare: I'm just kidding. *he says something else I can't hear and walks away* *tenor laughs* me: What'd he say? It looked like "I know you." *tenor keeps laughing* me: What did he say?! tenor: He said, "I'm just kidding. I love you." me: Oh. That is awkward.
EDIT: More quotes.
Watching scenes from Fiddler on the Roof in the band room
sousa: Woah! Where'd those two daughters come from? *silence* tenor: Well, [sousa], when a man loves a woman... *we all laugh* sousa: Is that all?
*now we're watching "Do You Love Me?" Golde (singing): For 25 years I've lived with him, fought with him, starved with him... me: Now listen carefully, [sousa]-- Golde (singing): ... for 25 years, my bed is his!-- sousa: OOOOHH.
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