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Post by SaxGirl on Jun 6, 2007 15:45:38 GMT -5
I was looking forward to the first practice of marching season yesterday simply for the awesome and very interesting anecdotes and quotes that the low brass instructor provides, among other reasons.
Low brass: *plays the beginning of "Sousa Classics," but very "blatty" and loud* Low brass instructor: Guys! Don't make the notes fat! That sounded like you were barfing; I wanted to get you a bucket...
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Post by trumpetislife on Jun 8, 2007 17:12:23 GMT -5
BD: *stops band and asks drummer a question* Drummer: *answers* Me: *yawns cus im tired* BD: *during yawn he calls on me* what does poco accellerando(sp) mean? WOW i could have fit a small car in that thing! *refering to my mouth* Me: *finishes yawning* what? ohh srry im tired... what was the question?
yesterday our bd called the people that hang out in the band room before school (me included) and i think hangs out after school band room rats ;D
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Post by bariclaribob on Jun 9, 2007 19:34:17 GMT -5
At marching band
bass drum: Ew. That's just sick, [alto]. alto: What? bass drum: She [alto's gf] works at Kid's Play, doesn't she? alto: So? What's wrong with that? bass drum: She handles children! Then she, what, goes home at night, and you've got scratches all over your back...
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albinosaxgirl
Band Nerd
SAX ADD-ICTS! We are never satisfied!
Posts: 123
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Post by albinosaxgirl on Jun 12, 2007 22:22:35 GMT -5
Bass Clarinet: What's Fuzzy's real name again? There's a baritone at my school that we call Fuzzy. [Long story.] Just for the record, his real name is Daniel. [At rookie camp] GuyBC: Know your left from your right! GirlDM: *Jumping around to the left of the block* LEFT IS OVER HERE! GuyDM: Yes, thank you GuyBC: Uh...Yeah. If you march the wrong way on a slide, you're going to die. Or kill someone else. And I don't want any of my friends out here to get hurt, so march the right way, or we'll come after you. Rookies: *Don't know whether to laugh or cower in fear* GirlBC: *Tries to say something, but almost falls over* GuyBC: Woah [GirlBC] you're looking a little tipsy, there. GirlBC: It's because I am. [During class] Band: *Is playing* BC: *Cuts them off* *Looks at 3rd bass clarinet* So, how are you doing today? 3rdBassClarinet: Oh, I'm pretty jolly. Me: *To other Bass Clarinet* Why aren't you playing this note? *points* Her: I am. Me: Well, I'm right next to you and I can't hear it. You gotta play it manlyHer: *astonished look* Me: *To bassoon* [bass clarinet] got gang-raped by 7-year-olds last weekend. French horn: *Slaps [bass clarinet]'s butt* Me: *Gets hit in the face with a quarter* French horn 1: Crap, I missed. Me: What? *Realization* How long have you been doing that? French horn 2: Since you started talking to [trumpet]. Me: Oh, ok. *Keeps talking to [trumpet] French horn 1: *Throws cell phone* [After trumpet leaves] French Horn1: *To me* You, here, sex. Me: But I thought [Trumpet/his GF] was your sidewalk-sex-buddy. French Horn1: No, she's my cubby-sex buddy. Me: Ah
[During stretches in class] BD:Ok, arms over your head, lean to your left Bassoon1: *Falls over* Bassoon2: Nooo! Come back, Trevvie! I want to stretch you! Bassoon3: *Has been doing the Macarana the whole time. Turns again and sees no one else dancing* *To other bassoons* What, no backup dancers? (I love the bassoons. Too bad all 3 of these graduated. I'll miss them)
[Senior speeches @ end-of-year banquet] Flute: I've been here for a long time. I'm a fossil. But,... if I'm a fossil,...what does that make the directors?
Trumpet1: I'm going to show everyone here, why we are in band. *Calls to the front DM and Trumpets 2&3* *They sing "Lean On Me" very obnoxiously and out-of-tune*
DM: Please, forgive me. I wrote this speech at 2:00AM after work last night. 'Dear Grissom Band Family, This year has been a hard one, a fast one, and a hard one.' Woah, I put two hard ones in there... *At the end of the speech* Alright, so 2 years ago at the banquet, the DMs announced that Mr. Connell was the dad in the band-family. They thought this settled the matter. They were wrong. I think the Grissom band is just one of those families with two daddies.
BC: Hey [DM]! BC>DM!
__________________________________________________________
I'll post more later
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Post by bariclaribob on Jun 13, 2007 10:55:29 GMT -5
At commencement (my bd's last--he resigned)
me: Well Mr. B. I guess this is good bye. *I held out my hand to shake his* bd: *pauses* Nah. I'll hug you.
I know that sounds all sappy and weird, but it was nice.
And this is our traditional before-parade pep talk
dm: Shoulders? us: Back! dm: Stomachs? us: In! dm: Chins? us: Up! dm: Eyes? us: With pride! dm: Eyes? us: With pride! dm: EYES?! us: WITH PRIDE!!!!! *pause* dm: Don't suck on three! One, two, three! us: DON'T SUCK!!! *another pause* dm: Band! What is your profession? us: WOOH! WOOH! WOOH!
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Post by samthered on Jun 14, 2007 8:53:05 GMT -5
After commencement, a bunch of us decided to organize the music for our BD, since he was leaving.
BD: What are you doing? Us: ummm, organizing music for you? BD: That's really nice. Nobody's ever done that for me. But you shouldn't have. Us: Why? BD: Well, I have to leave a huge mess for (new BD). Otherwise, he won't have anything to do.
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trmptgrl90
Band Geek
Sucker for a trumpet player
Posts: 71
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Post by trmptgrl90 on Jun 14, 2007 18:17:51 GMT -5
These are all from my BDs
“Make sure you wear clothing that is clothing appropriate.” “We can’t fix stupid.” “Sell your soul to the Devil for the last bar.” “I took my trumpet on my honeymoon. I left my wife at home, but I took my trumpet.” “Play that lick until your parents can no longer digest food.” “What are you gonna do?...Rub your head on the stand and hope your music appears?” “Okay women’s one, you are done. Women’s two, in my office…”
And my personal favorite BD conversational exchange: “It’s gonna be great.” “Really, when? I feel like my ears are being raped.” “But you’re smiling…” “Well, I like it.”
Yep. I've got a whole book of band quotes because the senior trombone players were basically awesome and kept records of them all year.
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flouba
Band Nerd
Lazyness: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running...Except you Ed. Don't get hit.
Posts: 304
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Post by flouba on Jun 15, 2007 14:44:21 GMT -5
Bass Clarinet: What's Fuzzy's real name again? There's a baritone at my school that we call Fuzzy. [Long story.] Just for the record, his real name is Daniel. Wow what a coincidence. In my band Fuzzy's a trombonist but same name Anyway how we spent our band class today trumpet: *has rope and ties up Mello's, Trombone's, mine, percussion's, and soprano's hands (one at a time) and lets us ecaspe on our own.* BD: la la la Frick'n' envelopes Tuba: TrumpetSL left me his polish rag... and his can of Axe.
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Post by friskylurker on Jun 15, 2007 16:24:12 GMT -5
BD at graduation this morning: don't catch the stupid. it's all around you, don't catch it.
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Post by bariclaribob on Jun 16, 2007 10:33:05 GMT -5
At honor band
director: This is the difference between brass and woodwinds.
*imitates some kids from morning rehearsal*
trumpet: Ooh! Ooh! A solo! I must have it! Surrender, fool! some other trumpet: No! No! I cannot let you have it!
oboe: Oh. Dear me. A solo. You take it. some other oboe: I couldn't. No, no, no. You take it!
Well, I thought it was funny anyway.
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Post by samthered on Jun 18, 2007 9:48:49 GMT -5
^that's so true! In our band, the flutes gave a solo to the 4th or 5th chair, and she could barely play it.
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Post by bariclaribob on Jun 18, 2007 12:44:54 GMT -5
^ I remember.... our last concert *shudders*
At mb
sax sl: Money for gloves? *flute at heart*: Do you have change for a ten? sax sl: Um... yeah, I think so. *hands back $8* There you go. *FAH*: I gave you a ten! I need two more dollars! sax sl: YOU are paying ME, so I get more money than YOU. Get it? *FAH*: *acts all embarrassed* sax sl: (talking to me) Money for gloves? me: Here you go.
*later*
clarinet sl: [bariclaribob], I need glove money! me: Um... I... uh... I gave it to... [sax sl]. clarinet sl: WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT?! I AM YOUR SECTION LEADER, AND YOU SHALL GIVE YOUR MONEY TO ME!!! me: S-s-s-sorry. I wasn't thinking.... I thought he was collecting for everyone or something...
*later yet*
*FAH*: Um, [sax sl], why did you collect [bariclaribob]'s money? sax sl: Why shouldn't I? *FAH*: Um... she's not a sax. sax sl: Really?
*later*
sax sl: I don't know why I collected your money. me: Yeah... I was wondering... sax sl: Apparently, you're not in my section... me: She was so mad at me... sax sl: Who? [clarinet sl]? me: Yeah... sax sl: *grins manically* Okay. From now on, give me all your money and stuff, just to p*** her off.
*couple days later*
trumpet sl: GET YOUR UNIFORMS ON THE CART, EVERYBODY! sax sl: (to *FAH*) Uniform on the cart? *FAH*: Yes. sax sl: (to bass clarinet) Uniform on the... wait, you're not in my section... sax sl: (turns to me) Unifor... wait! You aren't either!
I don't know why I find this whole thing amusing... but *FAH* does too.
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Post by NinjaBaker on Jun 18, 2007 18:28:16 GMT -5
^I find it very funny. Sounds like something I would do.
Selling discount cards last year:
Raine: *rings doorbell* Guy with eyepatch: *opens door* Raine: *asks man to buy a discount card* Guy with eyepatch: Sure sure! Hang on a second, let me get my money. you girls want a drink? Me: Nah, I'm good. Raine: NO thanks. Katherine: No thank you sir. Guy with eyepatch: *gives us money* *smiles at Katherine* You're such a good mother to come with your girls like this. Me: *looks at Raine and then Katherine* Raine: *looks at me and then Katherine* Katherine: *looks at me and then Raine* Guy: You two aren't sisters? You aren't their mom? Me: Noooo... *runs away with guys' money* Raine: *sprints after* Katherine: *also runs away*
yeah, she's a year older than us, definitely NOT our mom. But we called her Mom all year after that.
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xxcrissxcrossxx
Band Nerd
Guard..Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
Posts: 126
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Post by xxcrissxcrossxx on Jun 18, 2007 22:21:41 GMT -5
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xxcrissxcrossxx
Band Nerd
Guard..Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
Posts: 126
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Post by xxcrissxcrossxx on Jun 18, 2007 22:49:18 GMT -5
My non-band/guard friends: you never have time for us anymore More non band friends:yeah you dont have a life now. Me: well that hs a simple explanation. Them:and that would be? Me:I sold my soul to the band director. Them:... we see....
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