flouba
Band Nerd
Lazyness: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running...Except you Ed. Don't get hit.
Posts: 304
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Post by flouba on Aug 14, 2006 21:00:50 GMT -5
me: Hey [BD] should I have my tuba in concert or marching position? BD: Marching...no concert. Check my stand if we're playing with the whole band first concert if not marching. (he keeps on changing his mind and eventually says concert) That was the hardest decision I had made in my entire life.
guy helping the brass: don't call me sir trombone: yes.... tuba: ma'am.
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Post by baritonegirl on Aug 15, 2006 9:41:45 GMT -5
BD: That was good guys but the trumpets keep in your diagnal and play louder like the low brass Tuba:Yes!!!! You suckers!!
Me:*is getting ready to throw up* trombone:*trys to tell me something bout the line* Me:*bursts out crying*im going to throw up.... *whole low brass section comes over to me* trombone:if you have to go throw up on the sideline.
(15 minutes later) me:*sitting by band parents watching everyone march*......*sees mom walking up*mom.... mom:*looking for me on the field* me:mom down here not out there
at fair: me:the other baritones left me to die and play by myself!!! bass clarinet:yay me:....that not a good thing bass clarinet:oh......yay
bass clarinet:lets play venus!! tuba:what about jareds solo hes not here me:Ill play it!!!! tuba:eyes get big and starts talking to other tuba*
tuba2:can this day get any worst*pop spills* me:want me to buy you anouther tuba2:sure... (turns out i bought him 6 pops*
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Post by SaxGirl on Aug 15, 2006 13:36:37 GMT -5
Trombone instructor: (to trombone player) Yeah, you're good up there in that upper range, but you're the only one I can hear in that chord. You're like the lone ornament on the Christmas tree. And I don't mean the star. Me: (to said trombone player) You aren't the star. You're the really old Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ornament that's on the bottom of the tree, and it's missing a leg.
Me: *does really confusing backwards marching move**accidentally steps on the back of a freshman's shoe* Freshman: *falls flat on her face* Me: Oh s*it. Sophomore clarinet player: FRESHMAN BEATER!
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Post by friskylurker on Aug 15, 2006 16:10:55 GMT -5
In an online review for a tuner:
Desirability: It's about as sexy as a middle aged computer technician
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Post by toocuteflute on Aug 15, 2006 18:43:17 GMT -5
Mello: Why are you conducting like that? BD: I have to conduct this way because my new teacher conducts like this...and I have to do it like him to pass my class... Flute: Yea...but it's weird... BD: Don't you guys want me to get an "A"? Band: Uhhh... BD: You don't even care about me...i'm hurt...
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Post by Greenepony on Aug 15, 2006 21:08:48 GMT -5
BD: Why do have your music out? Don't you have it memorized? Me: Yea.... its for... Reference BD: So you don't have it memorized Me: I do! BD: You don't Me: Reference
Bd: Are you paranoid yet? Me: No Bd: Now? Me: No Bd: Now? Me: NO! Quizzical and pitting looks from section leaders BD: I'm just giving her a hard time Section Leader: Com'on *my name* you can sit over here. Me: Nope, I can deal *glares and sticks tongue out at BD*
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Post by SaxGirl on Aug 16, 2006 13:39:29 GMT -5
Assistant DM (also a clarinet/sax player): Okay clarinets, I want you to play this part down an octave, since you're jumping from low to high. Push through with more air and open your throat; it'll help your tone and make the part sound warmer and longer. Whole clarinet section: *cracks up* Assistant DM: [Clarinet sophomore], get your mind out of the gutter! BD: *stares, trying not to laugh*
It's a tradition for the cross country team to act like jagoffs and run through the band every year. Today was the day they decided to do it, except they got dressed up, wearing everything from Burger King crowns to fake moustaches. They ran through us in the warm-up arc, screaming like nutcases.
*cross country team leaves and resumes running* Guard intructor: GIRLS! Why didn't you hit them? You have weapons! Assistant DM: *standing by us* Trombones, why didn't you hit them? If I were you, I would have "accidentally" had a spasm... BD: *is coming down from the press box* Baritone 1: Oh no, he's gonna EAT THEM! Baritone 2: He should get in the Gator and run them over! Baritone 1: Yes, but he's probably hungry... Me: Kentucky Fried Cross Country. BD: *starts to approach where the cross country team was**starts walking faster* CC Team: *runs away and retreats up the hill*
Trombone player: *to me* You need some cork grease? Me: Why would I need that? TP: For your tuning slide. Me: I always just use slide oil... TP: Nah, use cork grease. Here, take it. Me: *grabs cork grease that had been sitting in his bookbag in the sun for 5 hours**opens cap* *cork grease SPILLS (it had melted) all over my leg and trombone* Me: AHHHHHHHHH! EWWWW! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WHAT THE F*CK! TP and other trombone players: *point and laugh*
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flouba
Band Nerd
Lazyness: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running...Except you Ed. Don't get hit.
Posts: 304
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Post by flouba on Aug 16, 2006 20:47:58 GMT -5
Ok I got a bunch cause I was dead yesterday
During tuba sectionals assistant person (ap): *trips over chair* I found a chair LATER me: *sits on chair and falls off ledge* I found the ledge ap: next thing is that he's (refering to other tuba player* is gonna fall off something. END OF SECTIONAL ap: *trips over same chair* If anyone's wondering there's still a chair there tuba: really? me: after no one moved it? AT THE END OF REHEARSAL tuba: *sits on chair and falls off ledge* me *goes to ap* You were right. [tuba] fell off the ledge. ap: between the 3 of us we're gonna fall off everything. me: We already got 2 chairs and 2 ledges.
Bass Clarinet: I don't have legs me: Course you don't. I cut them off.
me: I really want to stick my tuba to BD's office and blow. It'd be fun ap: No wait till someone's in it. (When someone was in it my section leader said: If you do go for the window that's blocked with the Pirates flag)
tuba to clarinet: I can breathe better then you.
BD: the rest of us are in here tuba: forever and ever...never leaving. me: yay
me: I like to poke the dents (the dents in my tuba)
BD: if one particle of dust is moved you're dead.
BD: Any Julia's missing a lunch? tuba: Sure I'm Julia. drummer: I'm Julia (one's a guy. neither are named anything close to Julia)
Bass Clarinet: What's Fuzzy's real name again?
BD: The aliens are coming me: *looking up at sky for them* BD: and it's cause [drummer2] has been communicating with them through his hat dog that lives near school: *begins barking.*
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Post by mystey on Aug 16, 2006 21:53:54 GMT -5
Johanna (oboe/fluter): Gah! Ryan's saxophone just touched my butt! Me: You've become a victim of Saxual Harrasment!
Ryan (junior alto sax): *eats saltine crackers during drill* C (our director): Ryan, are you eating crackers because you're a cracka?
C: Have you ever heard of the song "Loosen Up My Buttons". If so, your ghetto. But it's okay, I'm ghetto too.
C: *after practice, to everyone* Okay, you can leave now. I'll tell you where babies come from another day!
G ( our old band director, who died last year...): *the day before state compition* Hey, I found a popsicle stick on the ground! How ironic! "What did the dentist give the marching band? A tuba toothpaste!"
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Post by baritonegirl on Aug 17, 2006 13:51:41 GMT -5
me: most of the ppl in band are turning gangsta bass clarinet: did you say everyone is turning gayster me:.....no i said gangsta
me:my moms here!!! yay tuba:your mom gos to college me:*looks at him* that means yours does..
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Post by SaxGirl on Aug 17, 2006 14:51:09 GMT -5
Our trombone instructor always mentions how "August is in full bloom" when we whine or act weird after marching around all day.
Trombone player: *fooling around with a water gun* Instructor: You guys are getting goofy on me today! Baritone: As you like to say, August is in full bloom. Instructor: *looks at trombone player toying with the water gun* I'd say [trombone player] is is full bloom today today, then. Whole low brass section: *CRACKS UP and laughs at trombone player* Trombone player: What? What did I do? (not realizing we thought that sounded gross) Me: The only thing you did wrong was hit puberty.
Staff member: Hi guys, I just wanted to tell you about a complaint I heard from some janitors. Apparently someone was riding down the hallway in an office chair. Low brass: *stares* Me: *finally raises hand* That was me. Low brass: WHAT? You? Me: Yeah, I sat in the chair and [trombone player] pushed me. Staff member: Okay, well, it's no big deal, but just don't do that again on break. They were waxing the floors. Me: Okay. Staff member: I mean, yeah, Kelly (me) is such a horrible person. *wink* Trombone 1: I SAY NO BREAK FOR YOU! Trombone 2: Make her march around the school for 10 minutes! Me: *points to other trombone player* IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!
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Post by Flutist Kes on Aug 17, 2006 15:30:36 GMT -5
[On the sign-up sheet for pep band.] Member 1: tenor sexy sax Member 2: tenor sexy sax [Down farther.] Member 3: alto sexier than sexy sax
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Post by trumpetislife on Aug 17, 2006 15:31:11 GMT -5
today was the first day of band camp:
we spit up into sectionals and my section was for some reason talking about books trumpet 1: I read 70 pages of snow in august trumpet 2: that all you read? DM (also trumpet): i read 8 books trumpet 2: 8!? DM: yeah well i read the chronicals of narina and thats like 7 books but i got it from the library and it was all in one book, so i had to keep renewing it cus it was soo long.
later on in the day we were doing basics and our BD had the DM's be the example
BD: ...and you march backward by going up on your toes. like this... DMs: *march backwards but came alittle short of the yard line* trombone: YOU MISSED! DMs: *gets on the yard line* BD: well odviously there a little out of practice Band: *laughs*
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flouba
Band Nerd
Lazyness: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running...Except you Ed. Don't get hit.
Posts: 304
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Post by flouba on Aug 17, 2006 20:50:52 GMT -5
DM: At the attention (when we were) trumpet: Geez you're so demanding. DM: *leaves from infront of us* trumpet: I don't think he heard me. me: I don't think so
tuba: during sectionals we practiced measures 73-122 (which is a drum feature so we have rests) trumpet: It must have taken you forever to learn it. me: It was very hard. trumpet2: I bet. See those black bars and is that a Bb? trumpet: And we never even looked this part over before.
(it was something to this effect. I can't remember exactly what was said)
I had more...but I forgot to write them down so I forgot them....
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Post by baritonegirl on Aug 17, 2006 21:06:23 GMT -5
Me:grr stupid gatorafde machine*walks over to popmachie and sticks money in and hits a button* flute:this works me:yup*gets pop*good day too bad i cant drink it*hears sumthing*whats that*turns around and 2 more pops came out*yes jackpot!!
tuba:dont we go to the front thingy after this set me:no [tuba] this is the first 12 counts on the slow part tuba:ohhhh its after this 12 counts me:no after this 12 counts is anouther 12 counts tuba:then lemme guess theres anouther 12 counts ater that and after that is anouther huh?!?!?! me:no after the second 12 conts it goes to the front....
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